How to Let Go of Expectations that Are Holding You Back
Expectations play a role in virtually every aspect of your life. But the way they lie hidden beneath the surface, you’d never know they were there.
Expectations can be a good thing. The more you expect of yourself, the more you tend to do.
If you expect poor performance, you’re likely to perform poorly. However, if you expect excellence, you’re going to strive to realize excellence even against difficult odds.
However, many other types of expectations hold us back.
The expectation to get home from work by a certain time or for your path to success to have a particular look and feel can cause us great anger and disappointment if they aren’t realized. These kinds of expectations are an attempt to grab hold of the future, to reduce surprise and feel as though we have some semblance of control.
Sometimes, you can’t help but feel frustrated or disappointed (or both). However, ultimately, this can hold us back, so we need to learn how to let go and live in a more fluid and flexible way to not only be happier, but also improve our ability to adapt and move forward.
When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.– Ryan Reynolds
What are harmful expectations?
So, what are the really harmful expectations you need to look out for?
As mentioned above, there are smaller expectations like assuming someone will show up to an appointment or expecting not to encounter any traffic today so you can get to work on time.
However, those aren’t the really harmful expectations. The ones you need to look out for have to do with who you think you should be and what you think you should do.
Expectations about how it’s supposed to happen for you (your path to success is X, when it may be Y, even if it’s the same end goal) commonly hold people back because they unconsciously close themselves off to other pathways to the very same goal, assuming that their one and only plan will allow them to achieve their definition of success.
What these detrimental expectations will look like for you is subjective, but dealing with them always comes back to the same idea: you need to let them go (or, perhaps more accurately, loosen your hold on them) to gain the power of flexibility and clarity in your life.
This has countless benefits, most notably allowing you to realize and express your authentic self without negative feedback interfering.
How to let go of expectations
Awareness is definitely the first and most important step to letting go of harmful expectations that might be holding you back, but it’s only part of the equation.
To complete the process, you need to ask why those expectations arose in the first place and start tearing down the construct that created them.
First, see the flaw in your expectations
See that your expectations are assumptions made to comfort and guide you, but they aren’t at all based on real, accurate data or sensible observations.
If you’re expected to follow one of a few career paths that your parents have deemed “successful,” you may have designed your life in a way that assumes you’ll do one of those things.
Your parents likely will have instilled in you the idea that only by following one of these careers can you guarantee yourself success, happiness, and security. And, so, this expectation is then cultivated within you as it was in your parents (perhaps a little differently, but nonetheless there).
But this view of success has almost always been wildly inaccurate, even before the internet. Opportunity is all around and it often doesn’t come in the form that you expect it to (in fact, almost nothing in life does).
Then, see the damage that’s being done
Now that you’ve begun to break down these expectations, you need to see the detriment of holding onto them; the damage that’s being done.
Notice how these deep-seated expectations affect who you think you’re supposed to be and become and how they can very much steer you astray from your authentic self but happiness in general. The more clearly you can see these harmful side effects, the more you’ll understand the potential damage of such expectations.
If you believe happiness if found in a typical marriage, white picket fence and children but it turns out you can’t have kids, you’re going to suffer until you undo this flawed expectation and see that happiness isn’t necessarily connected to any of those things.
See this for what it is and understand how these expectations hurt us as people and you’ll be motivated to become more open– and wiser for it.
If you can combine the clarity to see these deep-seated expectations for what they are and generate sufficient motivation to take action and act in a wiser and more mindful way, you’ll be on your way to letting go and realizing a greater level of freedom than you've ever had.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.