Robert De Niro's Children Have Opened His Eyes: How Raising 7 Bi-Racial Children Changed Everything for Him
As one of the greatest actors in our generation, Robert De Niro has always commanded a great deal of attention, interest, and collective admiration from the public. De Niro shot to fame when took on the role of a Young Vito Corleone (and subsequently, a young Marlon Brando) in Francis Ford Coppola's Godfather II.
He’s been acting for well over fifty years and has absolutely changed the course of film history with his striking and thoughtful performances. The TriBeca Film Festival Founder has an uncanny ability to elevate a movie through a five-second appearance or just two lines of dialogue.
Robert De Niro: The Man! The Myth! The Legend! The...Father of Seven?
Given Robert is in his late seventies, the press isn’t flocking to cover him as they used to. Therefore, the public, by and large, don’t have a lot of insight into his personal life, which has been as complicated, surprising, and turbulent as his on-screen roles.
Many people may also hold certain stereotypes about Robert’s demeanour, attitude, and parenting style purely due to his age. However, if you take a closer look into Robert’s marriages and his seven children, you might understand that the stereotyping and the assumptions don’t do anyone any favours
Like any other parent, Robert is trying to make sense of an ever-changing world and what it means for his children, all of whom are in different stages of their lives and face unique challenges accordingly. By examining Robert’s evolution as a father, we could pick up a lesson or two on how we interact with our parents and children.
De Niro has 7 children from four different relationships
As is commonplace among the Hollywood crowd, Robert has tried his luck in love. While his two previous marriages ended in divorce, the De Niro Family expanded in April of 2023 when the actor welcomed his seventh child, baby Gia to the world, alongside partner Tiffany Chen. De Niro met Chen on the set of his film The Intern where Chen played his character's Tai Chi instructor.
His first wife wast actress Diahne Abbott, who he wed in 1976. Diahne co-starred in Robert’s award-winning film Taxi Driver and also took part in a handful of films over the eighties. Throughout their twelve-year marriage, Robert and Diahne had one child, Raphael, born on November 9, 1976. Robert also adopted from Diahne’s daughter Drena from another relationship.
Taking Over The Family Business
Raphael was a child actor for a few years, appearing in films that featured his father, such as Awakenings and Raging Bull. He attended New York University but did not graduate. In 2003, he received his real estate broker’s license and was so successful in selling houses that he was one of the top ten sellers at his firm Douglas Ellison for multiple years.
Raphael and Robert are both partners in the Greenwich Hotel, a luxurious five-star hotel in Tribeca. Raphael also grabbed headlines in 2015 when he held the most expensive property listings in New York— a line of townhouses valued at $120 million. Raphael was married to Claudia DeMatos for seven years, and the pair had three children together.
Drena De Niro, on the other hand, has had a much more notable acting career. She first started as a model before moving on to becoming a fashion consultant and DJ. In the mid-90s, she found a knack for acting, which she followed up with an extensive filmography. Her most recent role was in A Star Is Born. She lives in New York City with her son.
Robert and Diahne divorced in 1988. In the very same year, Robert commenced a relationship with model Toukie Smith, which lasted for eight years. Though the two never married, they conceived two sons, Julian and Aaron, via in vitro fertilization. Their surrogate delivered the boys in 1995. A year later, Robert and Toukie split up.
Robert’s second and more recent marriage was to actress and philanthropist Grace Hightower. The two had an up-and-down marriage but did manage to make their marriage work for twenty years. Their son Elliot was born in 1998. A year later, Robert and Grace announced that they were getting divorced. However, they managed to patch things up, and they renewed their vows in 2004. Their second child, Helen Grace, was born in December 2011 via surrogate.
Little is known about Elliot De Niro and Aaron De Niro as they’ve stayed out of the public eye and don’t maintain public social media accounts. Though De Niro has spoken out about his son Elliot being on the autism spectrum.
There are great moments and moments of sadness. Sometimes you’re the last person [the children] want to deal with. It’s like when you walk your kids to school, and they get older and they don’t want to hold your hand or kiss you goodbye.
Robert De Niro to People
It's not all sad though! Unlike his twin brother, Julian De Niro is following in his father's footsteps! Julian stepped into the spotlight when he starred alongside James Franco, in Franco's film In Dubious Battle (2016), and continues to pursue an acting career.
He said it’s a “scary” time to have biracial children
Since all of Robert De Niro's children are biracial, De Niro has been learning first-hand what it’s like to live under the heated circumstances of the contemporary United States. At the peak of the Black Lives Matter protests in June 2020, Robert went on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and spoke about his experience of raising biracial children.
Robert has been raising biracial children for nearly fifty years, so he’s seen how civil rights movements have changed, evolved, and grown over time. Yet, he can also attest to how certain things have not changed and continue to be an issue in the country even today.
My children are all half black, and I don’t have, even me, I take certain things for granted. When people say that, they tell their kids, ‘Keep your hands [out] when you’re stopped by any cops, keep your hands on the steering wheel, don’t make a sudden move, don’t put your hands below, don’t do this,’ you understand that.
Robert De Niro on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon
Robert is all too familiar with the anxiety and the ever-present sense of cautiousness that comes with needing to protect your children. Especially if you feel like your children are under threat for reasons not within their control. He said that “it’s scary” and that “it has to change.” He has advocated for change within the current policing system and has said that cops that don’t seek to protect the community and are instead targeting minorities don’t “need to be there.”
Robert De Niro admitted fatherhood is “not easy” for him
Robert and Grace’s divorce was initially perceived as amicably, but recent events have detailed that it’s indeed a complicated and expensive divorce case, worsened by the COVID-19 pandemic. Robert and Grace are fighting over alimony as Robert’s financial situation has deteriorated in the past year due to government lockdowns, particularly concerning his two business ventures, Nobu and The Greenwich Hotel.
But ugly divorce proceedings haven’t stop Robert from caring about his children. He holds them in his heart and tries to meet them as frequently as he can. He’s admitted that not every day is going to be cheerful or bright. There are rough and challenging days, to which any family will be able to attest. The key is to take those dark times in stride and move on.
I love my children, just being with them. [But] It’s not easy. When you have the good moments [though], you forget about the ones that weren’t good.
Robert De Niro to US Weekly
The fact that Robert can openly acknowledge that he is not the perfect father already gives him a better shot at rectifying the situation than most other fathers out there. Being able to recognize the problem is the first step to resolving it. And even in his seventies, he’s keen on being the most attentive, gentle, and understand father possible.
Robert has also given his two cents on what he thinks about his children pursuing acting as a profession. He doesn’t have a definite opinion about it, but like any other healthy parent, he wants his children to find fulfillment in whatever vocation they take up. He’s eager for his kids to find their “own lane,” to get out from his shadow and make their own discoveries in this crazy world.
For my kids, I tell them, ‘If you want to be an actor or you want to do this or that, that’s fine as long as you’re happy. Just don’t sell yourself short.’ That’s the most I would say — push yourself a little more and reach for what you really think it is you want to do.
Robert De Niro to PEOPLE
As long as you’re trying, you’re succeeding
Robert is very upfront about his qualities as a father and how he’s continually trying to improve and reckon with the modern expectations of fatherhood. He’s had biracial children for a long time and has always had to be careful about what that means in the modern world. He will fight for his children, but he will also admit to fighting with his children.
He shows us that as long as we’re trying to be a better person or a better parent, we’re doing a reasonably good job. It’s when you stop trying that you have to wonder if you’re really a good parent at all. Having this little bit of self-awareness is half of the hard work, and the rest will just take care of its own. If you want a fun resource for entertaining your children, check out our article on Winnie the Pooh quotes.
More inspiring famous fathers:
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.