RELATED: Why Dave Chappelle Walked Away From $50 Million Dollars …
Instead, Chappelle famously walked away from the series and a $50 million paycheck. He abruptly left during production in 2006, effectively breaking his contract with Comedy Central. He was reportedly unhappy with the direction the show had taken and needed to step away.
But there has been one person who has been with the comedian through it all and that's his wife, Elaine.
Dave and Elaine Chappelle Prioritize Family Over Money
In an interview with Time, Chappelle spoke about moving to Ohio and walking away from his show, saying, "Coming here, I don't have the distractions of fame. It quiets the ego down. I'm interested in the kind of person I've got to become. I want to be well-rounded, and the industry is a place of extremes. I want to be well-balanced. I've got to check my intentions, man.”
RELATED: Best Dating Quotes to to Keep You Motivated in Your Search for Love
There was much speculation during this time in Chappelle’s life. Fans couldn’t fathom the idea that he’d walk away from his popular and successful show and $50 million. People thought he must have a drug or alcohol problem. Others thought it was a mental health issue that led comedian Dave Chappelle to walk away from it all. That wasn’t the case at all. Chappelle simply reprioritized his life in a way that was better for himself and his family.
Through the media circus that followed Dave Chappelle’s wife Elaine Mendoza stood by him. Dave and Elaine have been married for 21 years. They tied the knot in 2001 and have two sons, Sulayman and Ibrahim, and one daughter, Sanaa.
Who is Elaine Chappelle?
Goalcast Archive
Dave Chappelle’s wife Elaine Mendoza was born on August 31, 1974, to devout Christian Filipino parents. (Dave converted to Islam in 1991.) She grew up in Brooklyn and according to various sources, once planned to become a professional chef. Dave and Elaine Chappelle met more than 20 years ago, so she would have been in her 20s. After meeting and falling in love with Dave Chappelle, Elaine chose to devote herself to raising the couple’s three children.
How Did Dave Chappelle and Elaine Meet?
Goalcast Archive
During an interview with Howard Stern in the early 2000s, Dave Chappelle revealed that he met his then-girlfriend Elaine Mendoza in Brooklyn and at the time he said she was pregnant with his baby. He said that he was immediately interested in her, but she took some time to get to know Dave before committing to the relationship.
RELATED: Dave Chappelle Talks About His Worst Experience
He also revealed that she was Filipino, which led Stern and his co-host Robin Quivers to make some distasteful jokes about Asian stereotypes. Up until this point Dave Chappelle had been a regular guest on Stern’s show and even credited the exposure Stern gave him with helping his career. After they made those so-called jokes about the future Elaine Chappelle, he has continually refused to ever appear on Stern’s show again. Though he publicly says it’s because the show tapes too early in the morning, it feels like he's showing where his loyalties lie – with his wife Elaine Chappelle.
Elaine is Dave Chappelle’s Support System
Goalcast Archive
Dave and Elaine Chappelle have a strong marriage that has lasted more than two decades so far. Over the years, Dave Chappelle has made many comments about how his wife is his support system. In his final interview with Howard Stern, Chappelle said, “She was with me when I was poor.”
For a celebrity like Chappelle, it is especially important to have a strong support system in place. Fans and the media can be brutal to a public figure like Elaine Chappelle’s husband. She has been with Dave through some rocky parts of his career including when he walked away from Chappelle’s Show and the more recent controversy over the anti-trans content in his standup routine.
RELATED: Relationship Goals: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel Stepped Back to Leap Forward
He appreciates the perspective Elaine Chappelle brings to his life and said, "My wife, if it gets real bad, she’ll let me know, like, ‘Oh, you should look into this.’ But for the most part, I try not to pay attention to it because you don’t want to be careful as a comedian. I try to keep my business small enough so it can still be authentic enough.”
Speaking of that $50 million Chappelle walked away from when he quit Chapelle’s Show and voided his contract with Comedy Central – Chappelle did an interview with Conan O’Brien in 2006 during which he talked about it, saying, “My wife’s still a little salty… She’s not mad at me, but don’t think you’re going to walk away from $50 million and your wife’s just gonna be cool with it.”
Where the Married Couple is Today
Goalcast Archive
Dave and Elaine Chappelle and their three children live on a 65-acre farm in Yellow Springs, Ohio, which is located about 20 miles from the Dayton Metropolitan area. In 2006, Chappelle said, “I used to be cable’s hottest star and now I’m just a Yellow Springs guy. It turns out you don't need $50 million to live around these parts, just a nice smile and a kind way about you. You guys are the best neighbors ever. That's why I came back and that's why I'm staying.”
RELATED: Why Setting Relationship Goals Is Important And How To Do It
Chappelle grew up in Yellow Springs, where his father was the dean of students at Antioch College.
By all accounts, Dave and Elaine Chappelle are living a peaceful, quiet, and normal life in Ohio with their children. She keeps out of the spotlight and doesn’t have any social media accounts. They appear to be a grounded couple with mutual love and respect for each other and that’s a beautiful thing.
What It Means To Be A Leader
I see a lot of motivated, self-proclaimed successful people who use their status to talk down to "the masses", particularly Millennials, about how lazy they are, and how they don't put in the work to be successful. We've all read their endless lectures. Yes, I'm calling out many of my peers and mentors as well, because good leadership means taking the heat.
But this—this whining about others is anything but good leadership. It’s not that I’m offended, but rather that I do not find the generational narrative to be an effective one. I am not defending inaction or laziness, but I will not support petty leadership either.
The truth is that if you're going to bask in the glory of your own work ethic and success, then the only talking you should ever be doing is to motivate others to learn from your better habits. Offer your lessons. Take time to share your wisdom. Motivate and encourage others. Stop the dictation. That's how real leadership works. I don't care what your accolades are, I don’t care how old or young you may be; you must understand that not everyone is fulfilled in the same ways as you. You must understand that true leadership requires you to actually help people change for the better instead of simply telling them why they aren't enough, or why they aren't like you.
So, perhaps it's not Baby Boomers vs. Millennials, but all of us, as leaders, that should be putting in more work to communicate our challenges and thus, be of greater service to each other.
What It Means To Be A Leader
Do you want to be a leader? Congratulations, you get to spend your free time mentoring others, in addition to the grueling hours you spend 'putting in the work'. Indeed, the work itself may be more than others are doing, but it's not enough for leadership. Leadership requires you to use your platform to transform those around you, while being honest about your struggle: the period of time spent between whining and winning. There is little wisdom at either of those end points, yet there is incredible value in the journey between.
Talk about the mistakes you made along the way, and watch the gates of effort open. Ask others to question who they are and what they want, then give them credit for having learned the answer because leadership is also servitude: a double-edged sword that requires you to identify your own weaknesses before you can inspire another.
Leadership lacks ego, which is instead replaced with an intense responsibility and allegiance to people—to bring them to some vague promised land. To give the world something it has never seen from you. And yet, to get there, you may find yourself enduring a lot of sleepless nights, cold sweats, outstanding invoices, miscalculations, repeated rejections, the haunting failures of your past, and the viral idea that you could've done better.
Then there's the nagging question of whether you have what it takes – and the ethical question of what gives you the right to lead when you actually have no idea what's next. These fears are all very convincing. In fact, I would venture to say they are part of the human experience, but I've also [slowly] been learning that great leadership isn't measured by any of those fears. It's not about being right the first time, or 100% of the time. It's not about proving anyone wrong. It's not about fame. It's not about fortune. You don't magically become immune to the pain once you find yourself celebrated. There are ups and there are downs and there are a lot of people who you can help, and whose help you will need along the way.
We see, today, too many self-proclaimed “leaders” who say they have all the answers, and that is simply never true; they only prey upon your fear of uncertainty. Leadership means showing up & facing the uncertainty with honesty and integrity. Every day. For the sake of others and for the sake of your vision. You show up with conviction, you make it very clear that this is your best plan, you discuss, and you execute. And if that plan fails, you try again. And again. And again. And somehow, if you have the confidence to try despite the cloudiness, people are willing to give you a chance, and they're willing to stand with you because you actually admit to not having all the answers. It's scary, and yet, that is where I've learned to find the slightest bit of comfort in teammates and friends who are empowered by transparency, not wowed by a false bravado. These are the people who will make the ups more exhilarating and the downs less devastating.
I used to pinpoint success on words like "strategy" and "charisma" and "innovative" and a lot of other self-congratulatory crap that made me feel good, but the problem was when I failed, those words failed, too.
So, these days, I'm just grateful to be surrounded by people who are willing to give it a shot—to give me a shot—because, no matter what, I’m never giving up. And that, my friends, is all that matters. We just have to stop nagging and help each other overcome our challenges.
Yours truly,
A fellow Millennial