How to Become a Master Communicator
Communication skills are some of the most important of all to develop.
Becoming a better communicator can help you land that dream job, sell better, create more and better personal connections, improve your relationships, lead better, and so much more that it’s impossible to list all the benefits.
There’s a lot to becoming a master communicator, but there are few skills as worthwhile as these to devote your time to developing.
What's the greatest advice I give? Develop excellent communication skills.– Julie Sweet
I don’t pretend to be a master communicator, but seeing as it’s critically important for success in any endeavor, I have put a sizeable amount of work into improving my ability to communicate over the past decade.
And, since that time, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to become a master communicator. Some of these skills I’ve become quite good at while others are still a work in progress for me.
So, what does it take to become a master communicator? It’s just a start, but here’s my suggested path:
Improve your public speaking
I know public speaking is a fear that most people have, hence why I included it first on the list. It’s better to just jump into something you’re afraid of head-first. If you do, you’ll quickly get over your fear.
However, that’s not the only reason I included it first.
Public speaking is so important that Warren Buffett once offered a group of Columbia University business students one-hundred thousand dollars to anyone in the room who was willing to trade ten percent of their lifetime earnings, a number he increased by a whopping fifty percent for anyone willing to learn public speaking. And I couldn’t agree with him more.
Unfortunately, there’s essentially no shortcut to learning public speaking but for actually doing it. However, there are coaches who will train you in your public speaking skills, so I’d start there if you don’t have an opportunity to speak publicly close at hand (even a small group of a dozen people counts).
Make deep listening a regular practice
Listening is a critical communication skill that most people are downright horrible at.
When communicating with another, most of us are too busy waiting for our next chance to speak as opposed to truly and deeply listening to the words the other person is saying. This has obvious consequences that we don’t tend to think about in the moment.
How do you go about becoming a better listener? All it takes is intentional practice. Make it a point each time you communicate to imagine you zipping your mouth closed and simply sit there. Make an intentional effort to listen closely to everything the other person is saying– both with their words and their body (including their eyes, posture, hands, etc.).
Read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
The classic among classics when it comes to improving your communication skills, How to Win Friends and Influence People can cause a huge increase in your communication skills over time as you begin to apply the principles throughout the book.
The book includes a literal treasure trove of gems that are useful for anyone looking to improve their communication skills, including how to get people to like you instantly, why you can’t win an argument (and what to do instead), and the Socrates Secret.
...then read Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intelligence is another book I (and many others) consider highly important for improving communication skills and it works as a great follow up to How to Win Friends.
As opposed to the nearly century-old How to Win Friends and Influence People, Emotional Intelligence is a recent publication by author and researcher Daniel Goleman based on the latest scientific research on the associated ability of the same name, emotional intelligence (or EQ for short).
Where How to Win Friends teaches you invaluable tricks and strategies for improving your ability to communicate, Emotional Intelligence shows you the emotional underpinning behind much of what guides us when communicating with each other and allows you to develop this fundamental ability (which, like communication skills themselves, includes a collection of various different traits and skills).
Study nonverbal communication
Think of nonverbal communication as taking over where words leave off. Body language and other nonverbal cues complete the picture when communicating with others.
Everywhere you look, in communication, there are nonverbal cues that you can identify (and which people identify in you) that tell a huge part of the story. Without learning how to both identify these nonverbal cues in others as well as how to use these nonverbal cues yourself to better communicate you’ll be missing a huge part of what makes up effective communication.
Nonverbal communication includes:
- Posture
- Hand gestures
- Facial reactions
- Positioning
- General movement including tapping, grabbing the neck, etc.
For the most part, nonverbal communication is something you can study and learn through practice, however, I’d suggest also studying resources on the subject as certain gestures, movements, and positions suggest various emotions and thoughts that you won’t be able to easily pick up on unless you know what you’re looking for ahead of time.
Practice, practice, practice...
Once you’ve tackled the above points, all that’s left to do is to put everything into practice. It takes time to see a noticeable improvement in your ability to communicate, however, the payoff is worth it.
By working to improve your communication skills, you’re given an invaluable ability which you can take with you wherever you go for the rest of your life.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.