Woman Thanks Ex-Boyfriend's Kid For Making Her Feel Loved
Jen and her brother, Todd, were just 10 and 12 years old when their father began dating Shirley Norton. It was 1986. Their love affair was short-lived, lasting only a year.
And while it may have been brief, it left an impact that stayed with Shirley until she died.
Eighteen years later, Jen received a phone call out of the blue. It was from a bank manager, informing her that Shirley had bequeathed $50,000 each to her and her brother. But in addition to the inheritance, Shirley also left behind a note.
A Random Phone Call
@intoxicatedinsights69 Absolutely gut wrenching story! Step parents truly are angels on earth. Thank you guys for all that you do. Thank you to the endlessly fascinating Jen, for sharing this story with us. Full episode is out. Link in bio
Jen recently shared her story on her podcast, Intoxicated Insights. She also posted a clip of the episode on TikTok where it has gone viral, garnering more than 2 million views, 237,000 likes, and nearly 5,000 comments.
"I get a random phone call, this is like 2004, I have two small children," she explained to her co-host Sage.
"I get this random call from this woman from Utah who's a bank manager telling me that one of my dad's ex-girlfriends has passed away and left me and my brother $50,000 each."
Jen via TikTok
Initially, she thought she was being punked. It took the bank manager more than half an hour to finally convince Jen to provide her address.
She explained to Sage that the woman the bank manager called her about was "legit" one of her father's ex-girlfriends and they had only dated for one year before he broke up with her. But throughout that year, Shirley took care of Jen, buying her clothes, decorating her room, and being "absolutely sweet" to her.
Jen remembers the day Shirley left. She begged Shirley to take her with her.
"I might have seen her like maybe one or two more times but my dad got a new girlfriend and that was that."
Until 18 years later...
When Jen received the mail from the bank manager she discovered that in addition to the cash, Shirley had also left behind a two-page letter.
Jen has held onto that letter for 20 years.
The Letter From Her Father's Ex-Girlfriend
Jen's father's ex-girlfriend bequeathed $50,000 each to her and her brother. But in addition to the inheritance, she also left behind a note.
Youtube/intoxicatedinsights
Holding back tears, Jen read Shirley's letter aloud:
"Dear Todd and Jenny, I bet you both are asking yourself, who is she?" the letter began.
"I met you and your father in 1986 when you were about 10 and 12 years old. You each made a remarkable impact on me. You were both great kids. You were friendly and made me feel welcome in your lives."
To further jog the siblings' memories, Shirley wrote that at the time Jen wanted to be an actress and own a pink Ferrari. She talked about going to SeaWorld and spending Thanksgiving at Lake Tahoe. She reminisced about Knotts Berry Farm and eating dinner together on the Queen Mary.
"Todd, when we went to Circus Circus, you won a little stuffed lion for me," she added. "I still have it."
And when Jenny went to camp? She made Shirley a wall hanging out of a pie plate. "I still have it too," Shirley wrote.
"I never had any children of my own," she added. "But for that one year you made me feel like I was part of your family."
Cue the tears.
Shirley also shared in the letter that she'd had a kidney transplant in 1992. "This gift of life gave me many extra years so I could enjoy this amazing world."
She ended the letter, writing: "I had a good life. I would like to make your life a little easier and more secure. I pray you both have wonderful lives. P.S. Jenny, please don't buy a pink Ferrari," she joked before adding, "But if you really want one, buy it."
"We don't always know the impact we make on someone's life"
@intoxicatedinsights69 Replying to @AileneTH jen says thank you!
The money came at a time when Jen needed it most. In a follow-up TikTok she explains her son had just been diagnosed with autism.
"At the time my youngest son had just got diagnosed with autism and so the money was great because I paid for a lot of therapies for him."
She also shared that the family moved "and it did make my life a lot better." (Although she never did get that pink Ferrari).
But it's the letter that is truly priceless.
"The letter was the best. I've held onto it for all these years. I read it, it's sad, and it always touches my heart."
Jen via TikTok
It's also touched the hearts of more than 2 million TikTok viewers.
"Perfect example that we don’t always know the impact we make on someone’s life. She never forgot you," one commenter wrote.
"Omg I’m sobbing 😭.. that was so so sweet," wrote another. "All the memories she still had of the kids ❤️❤️"
A third said, "As an adult child of divorce who’s Dad had many girlfriends that I loved but never got to say goodbye to, this helped to heal me. Maybe they loved me as much as I loved them."
Sometimes people aren't meant to stay in our lives. They are there for a short time and then they're gone. But just because they are no longer with us, it doesn't mean they are forgotten.
Shirley never forgot the time she spent with Jenny and Todd, even two decades later. Her generous bequest and heartfelt letter were a testament to the deep impact their brief connection had on her life.
It's also a sweet reminder that blood isn't what binds a family together. It's love, no matter how briefly we get to share it.
*Featured image contains photo by cottonbro studio
De-Clutter Your Life, De-Clutter Your Soul
I’ve lived in three countries and moved at least nine times. If you count the back and forth from college, it’s probably more. It can be hard to keep track. I feel as though my life has been a constant process of giving away, throwing away, selling, and resisting accumulation.
As stressful as each move was (especially changing countries), there was always something cathartic about getting rid of things. While it was certainly disconcerting, it was also satisfying to reduce my life’s possessions to a pile of suitcases and boxes that would fit into the back of an SUV. Moving has forced me to let go of emotionally charged items that hold painful memories. Along the way, things I thought I couldn’t live without got lost and never replaced.
I always felt freer after ridding myself of physical clutter, and even discovered things that I didn’t know were superfluous additions to my life. All this roaming has taught me to be more invested in who I'm with than where I am and what I have. A move has always felt like a great unburdening — even if I was tearing my hair out trying to get it organized!
How clutter can affect mental health
You don’t have to be a hoarder to be negatively affected by too much stuff or an unhealthy fixation on owning things. Even if your home is outwardly neat, collections of things in closets and garages can weigh on the soul over time.
The worst thing about clutter is that it compounds on existing stresses. On top of that, it’s a subtle influence that people may not think about. Unhealthy associations, such as an item belonging to an ex or deceased family member, can further exacerbate this elusive psychological pain.
Psychiatrists and professional organizers often refer clients to one another. Professionals in both fields are often very good at recognizing the crossover, and so you might be surprised at the interconnected support system for people suffering from clutter-related stress. Clutter seems to have a strong correlation with grief, pain, and obsessive disorders. So the first thing I want to mention is that there is never shame in seeking professional help, even if your clutter problem is nowhere near as serious as those depicted on Hoarders.
The different types of clutter in your life
In my opinion the clutter in one’s life isn’t just physical. There are a number of ways that you can accumulate associations that you don’t need.
North America has developed a strange respect for people who are overworked and constantly busy. These traits that we laud can be extremely unhealthy, and while they create a full life, they don’t necessarily create a fulfilling one. Learning to recognize when to take time for yourself is an important step to better emotional health -- and hey, may even give you time to de-clutter physically as well.
I have also experienced a cluttered web of relationships. Especially if there is an element of inequality, in which you give more than you receive, too many friendships and relationships can sap your emotional strength and leave little left for the people who really matter.
My way to fix clutter: Move! (or pretend to move)
Moving has regularly addressed all three types of clutter that were burdening me. It forced me to cut a great number of physical possessions out of my life.
Moving also reset my work and social schedule. A new job, and needing to make friends again, allowed me to recreate my calendar from the ground up, making it easier to only take on as much as I could handle.
I also found that moving away from my regular social circle cut down on relationships that weren’t fulfilling. I naturally made an effort to keep in touch and visit the people I cared about the most, while the extra effort required to keep in touch with medemonstrated who my most loving friends were.
If you’re not in a situation to move, you can still de-clutter like you’re moving. Pretend!
I use some unlikely sources of advice when it’s time to de-clutter. Even if I’m not planning on moving, I check out packing advice for moving out. Then I pretend I’m doing it. I’ll give myself a limit -- say, one SUV excluding furniture, or one cube truck including small furniture items. You don’t have to actually pack a vehicle, instead look up the interior measurements and use them as a guide.
Empty everything room by room, then pack and label boxes. There is one vital difference: pack according to priority, not similarity. By all means put your absolute favorite book or movie in with essential items like your cookware or toothbrush. Allow necessity to include things that make you happy, but be sure they actually do. Label the boxes to indicate priority as you go along. Be specific, and prepare a full inventory list as if you were actually loading up a truck and sending it off. Label the priority of a box on a numbered scale, like 1-10. Once you’re done, consult your inventory of each box and double-check its priority. Then pick a number, and toss away every box below it.
Another trick I’ve played on myself with some success is to pretend I’m selling my house. I’ll start to think about what I need to do to each room to make it super sellable and impressive; to make it “pop.” Usually, this means getting rid of the majority of things in it. I once again look up advice about how to dress up your home for a sale. While I’m at it, a little bit of decorating and feng shui generally make me feel a lot better about each room.
Lighten your life
And then of course, there’s actually doing it (if you are). At one point, my family owned a Bed and Breakfast, a six-bedroom, four-bathroom monstrosity. Even though we had to keep it clean and clutter-free, we still ended up collecting far too much stuff: furniture and decor that we neither liked nor used, extra kitchen and dining items, enough spare sheets and towels to soak up the pool. Downsizing to a much more sensible townhouse came as a great relief, and not being able to fit everything into it made getting rid of things much easier. It was part of an exciting new process, rather than just an unpleasant chore.
So whether you’re dropping a bedroom or two, or making a drastic change and building your own off-the-grid tiny house, downsizing can be a fantastic way to lift the burdens of your life. On the other hand, please do be cautious. If you are battling with a serious trauma or disorder, it may be that no amount of personal change will “fix” your problems. But when combined with professional advice, these strategies to de-clutter your life might just make all the difference.