Boost Your Shot At Intimacy With This Psychological Love Eye Trick
With time and practice, eye gazing will come easier for both of you, and be something you each look forward to doing.
The observation that they eyes are the windows to the soul, attributed to French poet Guillaume de Salluste Du Bartas, sums up the power of prolonged eye contact for building intimacy within a romantic relationship. Think of eye gazing as a new take on the psychological love eye trick. Despite the name, however, this isn’t an actual trick, so much as it is an exercise to help build a romantic bond.
Whether in a group setting or one-on-one, you may have noticed that making direct eye contact with your significant other feels good. However, as it turns out, holding someone’s gaze has a host of benefits that can help you and your partner feel connected, and create a stronger sense of intimacy.
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This is different from the popular “psychology love eye trick” that involves looking at your crush’s left eye, then down to their lips or chin, and then back up to their right eye. You’re meant to do that within seconds to avoid being caught staring. That flirty psychology eye trick is said to get your crush to fall in love with you. However, the eye gazing discussed here goes much deeper. It’s for when you’ve already found the right person, and want to build trust and intimacy.
Let’s take a look at the benefits of eye gazing – how it can impact your relationship, and how to use it to strengthen your bond with your partner.
What Is Eye Gazing? And What Are Its Benefits?
To an outside observer, eye gazing can look like a prolonged staring contest. However, it’s more than simply maintaining eye contact. Unlike staring, it focuses on holding a softer gaze with your partner, having two sets of eyes meet and truly look into one another.
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Breathing exercises can be paired with eye gazing. Depending upon your preference, sitting face-to-face and closing your eyes, taking a few deep breaths, and then opening your eyes to meet your partner’s direct gaze can be an effective starting point.
Eye gazing offers plenty of benefits for couples looking to forge a deeper connection when done regularly. Here are a few ways eye gazing helps build intimacy, improve connection and maintain mutual attraction.
Eye Gazing Builds Trust
When a person avoids eye contact, they’re typically perceived as hiding something, or being dishonest. Eye contact does the opposite. Studies have shown that a person who maintains eye contact is considered more trustworthy. You don’t have to be a relationship expert to recognize, then, that continuous eye contact with a partner can make couples more likely to trust each other.
Eye Gazing Helps You Perceive Your Partner’s Emotions
Being able to pick up on the emotion of a partner (or even a friend) without them having to tell you how they’re feeling builds intimacy by making them feel understood. While other indicators like body language can help with this, one study found that most people analyze a person’s eyes to become clued in to how someone is feeling.
Eye Gazing Improves Connection
Gazing into someone’s eyes helps to foster a deeper bond between partners.
In a world filled with constant distractions because of technology, having someone give you their undivided attention through eye gazing makes you feel important, and connected. One study found that those who participated in eye gazing with their partner felt as if they’d become so bonded that they were one entity.
Eye Gazing Creates Intimacy and Attraction
Many classic studies have shown that prolonged eye gazing generates shared feelings of love and connection. One of the best-known cases dates back to 1989, when researchers paired strangers, and had them gaze into each other’s eyes for two minutes. Participants reported feelings of love and connection. This could be due to evidence that shows prolonged eye contact releases oxytocin, the feel-good hormone in our brains that helps us to bond with loved ones.
What To Do Before You Start The Psychological Love Eye Trick
Practicing eye gazing with your partner for the first time can be an awkward experience. Maintaining prolonged eye contact with another person leaves you open and vulnerable. That may not yield the positive feelings you’d hoped for on your first few tries.
Here are a few tips for getting started, along with ways to make you and your partner feel more comfortable.
Turn off the TV, silence your phones and put them out of eye range. Eye gazing is best practiced in a comfortable area where distractions are limited.
Find a space in your home where you and your partner can sit facing one another for a prolonged period of time. You can decide to hold each other’s hands, or sit with your legs touching one another, if you prefer.
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Close Your Eyes
Closing your eyes and breathing in tandem with your partner before you start eye gazing helps to ground the experience and establish a clear starting time for the exercise.
Try closing your eyes, taking three deep breaths, in and out, together. Then slowly open your eyes to meet your partner’s gaze.
How To Practice Eye Gazing
Once you’ve got the hang of it, you’ll begin to notice the benefits of eye gazing, and a newfound closeness with your partner. Here are some best practices for eye gazing and how to go about it.
Continue Deep Breathing
Taking deep breaths in and out while eye gazing can help to center you and your partner. Inhale and exhale a few deep breaths at the start of the exercise with your eyes open, then continue breathing regularly for the duration.
Hold the Gaze
You may find yourself wanting to look away and take a break. That’s perfectly normal. Even if you look away, try your best to return to meet your partner’s gaze.
Look at Both Eyes
As you move through the exercise, you may want to look into one of your partner’s eyes, then the other, to get a closer look – especially if this is a new experience for one or both of you.
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Do your best to keep each eye focused on the eye directly across from you. Darting eyes can be distracting for the other person.
Aim for 3 to 5 Minutes of Eye Gazing
Some couples may find it helpful to set a timer during this exercise, but others may find it distracting. However, if you and your partner prefer to time things out, aim for about three to five minutes of eye gazing for best results.
End With a Few Deep Breaths
Taking two or three deep breaths at the close of the eye-gazing exercise helps to keep things from ending too abruptly. Breathe in and out together, and try to time your breathing to your partner’s once you’ve finished eye gazing.
When performed regularly and with intention, eye gazing can be a powerful tool to connect two people. It helps to strengthen relationships and increase feelings of connection and closeness. If you or your partner struggle when first attempting eye gazing, try not to take it too personally. This can be an intensely intimate practice.
As with learning anything new, mastering the art of eye gazing can take practice. You may find that you and your partner need to adjust the method or even take a break during the moment. With time and practice, eye gazing will come easier for the both of you and be something you each look forward to doing together.
Image in feature photo by Marius Muresan on Unsplash