How to Tell if a Girl Really Likes You—and What to Do About It
Wondering if your crush is into you? Look for these signs.
When you first get interested in a girl, it’s natural to wonder if she feels a spark, too. Does she just like you as a friend or more? If so, does she want a casual or serious relationship? Are you just someone to flirt with or might she think you could be the one? In other words, does she like you back?
You might have such questions right after meeting someone, after years of friendship, or weeks or months into dating. Sure, there are many ways we can signal our romantic or sexual interest to others. But those messages aren’t always clearly sent—or received. So, while it might seem like you should just know, it can be tricky to tell if and how much somebody likes you.
We’re here to help. Read on to figure out whether your crush, friend, coworker, neighbor, or girlfriend really likes you—and what to do about it.
First off, it’s important to note that there are no hard and fast rules for interpreting exactly what someone truly feels inside. And wishful thinking can cloud your assessment. Sometimes, you might misread someone’s emotions, either thinking they’re not interested when they are or not picking up that they’re actually really into you. However, most often, if you know what to look for, you’ll be able to get a good sense of what she thinks about you.
Everyone is going to send their signals in slightly different ways. Some people are going to be more subtle, keeping their intentions and desires more private—and elusive. Others will tend to be more open, expressive, or transparent.
However, even if someone is more introverted or shy about sharing their feelings, there are some common ways people tend to show their interest in another person. And if you look for the key signs, you can usually tell.
Signs She’s Into You
Different girls will convey their interest in you in unique ways. But there are many tell-tale signs that likely point to her being interested in you. And if you notice a number of these signs happening in concert, it’s even more likely that the girl in question really likes you.
Physical signals: Body language is a key way humans convey our feelings. While it’s not foolproof, reading a person’s body language and facial expressions can help you decode their emotions. For example, when people are stressed out, they tighten their muscles. We frown or wrinkle our brows when sad, concerned, angry, or upset. When we’re happy and comfortable, our bodies relax. Although, sometimes we might be a bit awkward or self-conscious around someone we’ve got a crush on.
If the girl you like shows the following physical indicators, she very well might like you back.
Open body language: Is her body relaxed and facing you? Is she leaning in when you talk? Showing open body language is a clear signal of feeling comfortable with you and a possible sign of romantic interest.
Test this sign by returning her open body language. Maybe approach a bit closer (just a little, you don’t want to invade her space) and see how she reacts. Does she also inch your way?
Eye Contact: Looking you in the eye, particularly with extended eye contact is a surefire way to show she’s into you. Return her gaze and hold it a bit longer than you normally would. Is she still looking at you? Also, check if she’s got her eye on you in other ways, as in does she look at your body or face as well as your eyes.
Smiling: Does she tend to grin when she greets you? Do her eyes sparkle? Does she seem happy to see you? Does she return your smile? These are all indicators of interest in you. People smile when they’re happy and excited, and when they’re around someone they like.
Mirroring: When we like someone we tend to mirror them. This means we unconsciously start following their lead or copying their body language and speech. So, do you notice her mirroring your mannerisms? If your hand is on your hip, does she also strike the same pose? If so, take it as the compliment it is.
Talking to you: Seeking you out for conservation, whether in real life or via text or phone calls is another good sign she likes you. Is your dialogue easy and free-flowing or strained? Does she pay attention to what you’re saying and remember things about you, such as your birthday or other details you’ve shared? Does she ask you questions about yourself? Do you share interests, hobbies, or passions? When you start talking, do you both lose track of time? Does she laugh at your jokes or conversation starters?
Tells you about herself: When you ask your crush questions, consider if she is responding by opening up and sharing about herself. Is intimacy developing between you? Does she tell you things that are private, funny, silly, or interesting? Is there a sparkle? Does she seem to want you to know her? Those are all signs she likes you.
Do You Have Chemistry?
The chemistry between two people is something that’s both a physical feeling and something we can even see. People who like each other tend to shine in each other’s presence, they laugh more, smile more, seek each other out, touch each other, and stand close to each other, as if drawn by magnets.
Teasing: Obviously, sometimes you might feel all tingly around someone, while they’re feeling nothing of the sort. But usually, chemistry is something you both feel. And when they’re attracted to you, you can tell by watching—and feeling—how they react to you.
Teasing is a time-honored flirting tradition. And while it can be masked as insults, people often tease the person they’re interested in. So, it’s a good sign if she routinely teases you, especially if it’s more kindhearted in nature.
Sometimes, people who like each other might even say things that may on their face feel like insults just to cover up what they actually feel. But the better sign is if the teasing is all in good fun.
Touching: We tend to touch people we like—and want. So, if she tends to touch you, say by ruffling your hair, straightening your collar, hugging you hello, or putting a hand on your arm, it’s quite possible she’s doing so because she likes you. Note though that some people are more physically expressive than others. In other words, if she hugs everybody, it’s probably less meaningful if she hugs you than if you’re the only one she’s hugging.
Consider love language: Love languages are ways people express and receive romantic interest. These include acts of service, gifts, physical touch and affection, words of admiration, and quality time spent together. The theory is that each person is more in tune with one or more love languages than the others. Being on the lookout for the different ways people can show their “love” can help you to perceive these signals even if they express their interest in a love language that is less powerful for you.
So, consider if she does nice things for you. Is she complimentary of you? Does she spend time with you or bring you gifts? Is she affectionate? These signs may all be her way of letting you know she cares—and likes you, too.
Spending time with you: How much time do the two of you spend together? Is she receptive to more? Consider if she is inviting you to do things together. Rarely do we want to spend time with someone we don’t like. Our time is the greatest possession we have. If she’s giving you hers, she likely likes you.
Flirting: Does she flirt with you? Take a second to think about this. Many of the above signs put together add up to flirting, even if on their own they might not mean anything at all.
But if she laughs at your jokes, smiles with her eyes and lips when she sees you, puts her hand on your shoulder, saves you a seat, and asks about your weekend plans, she’s probably flirting and probably likes you back. So, try flirting with her and see if she flirts back.
Does She Like You—or Do You Just Really Want Her To?
Note that wishful thinking can make see things that aren’t really there. So, be sure that your interest in her doesn’t influence your judgment. You might just really want her to like you, leading you to unintentionally misinterpret a girl’s words or actions.
Aim to look for the above signs as objectively as possible. If in doubt, ask a friend for their opinion—or better yet, muster up your courage and ask her yourself.
But note that even if she doesn’t actively have feelings for you that doesn’t mean she might not in the future. Sometimes, a girl just might not have thought about you in that way—yet. So, unless a girl is giving you direct signals of disinterest, you can still choose to pursue her. If you open the door to a romantic relationship, she just might decide to explore the possibility.
How to Tell if She’s Not Into You
On the flip side, there are clear signs a girl isn’t into you. She probably isn’t interested if you pick up on these clues:
· She avoids you
· She doesn’t look you in the eye
· She says no to invitations from you
· She doesn’t return your flirting
· Your conversations lack chemistry
· Her body language is closed
· She says she’s not interested
The bottom line is that if she’s cold, unavailable, rude, evasive, or directly expresses her disinterest, believe her. Don’t waste her time—or yours. Instead, find someone to date who likes you back.
What to Do if You Think She Likes You
If, on the other hand, she’s sending all the signs that she likes you, she probably does. But the best way to know for sure is to ask. Bold action takes courage—and often, is the secret to getting the girl. So, take a shot. Ask her out. Ask her how she feels about you. Tell her how you feel about her. Or if you’re already dating, ask her to take your relationship to the next level. Think about what you’d like out of the relationship. Then, go after the romance of your dreams.
If you like a girl and are wondering if she likes you, take a step back and look for the signs. If you see them, go ahead and express your interest, either by directly asking her out or testing the waters with flirting and other displays of affection. Putting yourself out there to pursue a girl you like, when done respectfully, is brave, exciting, and most likely, will be well-received. And hey, you’ll never know for sure—or get the girl—unless you try, so what have you got to lose?