Thordis Elva – Together

Thordis Elva shares her traumatic experience with rape in the company of her assaulter, and explains how forgiving her rapist was essential for her to find peace.


“Speaker 1: It’s about time that we stop treating sexual violence as a women’s issue. I was raised in a world where girls were taught that they get raped for a reason. Their skirt was too short. Their smile was too wide. Their breath smelled of alcohol. I was guilty of all of those things, so the shame had to be mine. It took me years to realize that only one thing could have stopped me from being raped that night, and it wasn’t my skirt. It wasn’t my smile. It wasn’t my childish trust. The only thing that could have stopped me from being raped that night is the man who raped me.

Speaker 2: To be honest, I repudiated the entire act. In the days afterwards, and when I was committing it. I disavowed the truth by convincing myself it was sex and not rape, and this is a lie.

Speaker 1: My self worth was buried under a soul crushing load of silence that isolated me from everyone that i cared about, and I was consumed with misplaced hate and anger that I took out on myself. Because regardless of whether or not he deserved my forgiveness, I deserved peace.

Speaker 2: But most importantly, the blame transferred from Thordis to me. Far too often the responsibility is attributed to females of sexual violence and not the males who enact it.

Speaker 1: Just imagine all the suffering we could alleviate if we dare to face this issue together.