Woman Thanks Ex-Boyfriend's Kid For Making Her Feel Loved
Jen and her brother, Todd, were just 10 and 12 years old when their father began dating Shirley Norton. It was 1986. Their love affair was short-lived, lasting only a year.
And while it may have been brief, it left an impact that stayed with Shirley until she died.
Eighteen years later, Jen received a phone call out of the blue. It was from a bank manager, informing her that Shirley had bequeathed $50,000 each to her and her brother. But in addition to the inheritance, Shirley also left behind a note.
A Random Phone Call
@intoxicatedinsights69 Absolutely gut wrenching story! Step parents truly are angels on earth. Thank you guys for all that you do. Thank you to the endlessly fascinating Jen, for sharing this story with us. Full episode is out. Link in bio
Jen recently shared her story on her podcast, Intoxicated Insights. She also posted a clip of the episode on TikTok where it has gone viral, garnering more than 2 million views, 237,000 likes, and nearly 5,000 comments.
"I get a random phone call, this is like 2004, I have two small children," she explained to her co-host Sage.
"I get this random call from this woman from Utah who's a bank manager telling me that one of my dad's ex-girlfriends has passed away and left me and my brother $50,000 each."
Jen via TikTok
Initially, she thought she was being punked. It took the bank manager more than half an hour to finally convince Jen to provide her address.
She explained to Sage that the woman the bank manager called her about was "legit" one of her father's ex-girlfriends and they had only dated for one year before he broke up with her. But throughout that year, Shirley took care of Jen, buying her clothes, decorating her room, and being "absolutely sweet" to her.
Jen remembers the day Shirley left. She begged Shirley to take her with her.
"I might have seen her like maybe one or two more times but my dad got a new girlfriend and that was that."
Until 18 years later...
When Jen received the mail from the bank manager she discovered that in addition to the cash, Shirley had also left behind a two-page letter.
Jen has held onto that letter for 20 years.
The Letter From Her Father's Ex-Girlfriend
Jen's father's ex-girlfriend bequeathed $50,000 each to her and her brother. But in addition to the inheritance, she also left behind a note.
Youtube/intoxicatedinsights
Holding back tears, Jen read Shirley's letter aloud:
"Dear Todd and Jenny, I bet you both are asking yourself, who is she?" the letter began.
"I met you and your father in 1986 when you were about 10 and 12 years old. You each made a remarkable impact on me. You were both great kids. You were friendly and made me feel welcome in your lives."
To further jog the siblings' memories, Shirley wrote that at the time Jen wanted to be an actress and own a pink Ferrari. She talked about going to SeaWorld and spending Thanksgiving at Lake Tahoe. She reminisced about Knotts Berry Farm and eating dinner together on the Queen Mary.
"Todd, when we went to Circus Circus, you won a little stuffed lion for me," she added. "I still have it."
And when Jenny went to camp? She made Shirley a wall hanging out of a pie plate. "I still have it too," Shirley wrote.
"I never had any children of my own," she added. "But for that one year you made me feel like I was part of your family."
Cue the tears.
Shirley also shared in the letter that she'd had a kidney transplant in 1992. "This gift of life gave me many extra years so I could enjoy this amazing world."
She ended the letter, writing: "I had a good life. I would like to make your life a little easier and more secure. I pray you both have wonderful lives. P.S. Jenny, please don't buy a pink Ferrari," she joked before adding, "But if you really want one, buy it."
"We don't always know the impact we make on someone's life"
@intoxicatedinsights69 Replying to @AileneTH jen says thank you!
The money came at a time when Jen needed it most. In a follow-up TikTok she explains her son had just been diagnosed with autism.
"At the time my youngest son had just got diagnosed with autism and so the money was great because I paid for a lot of therapies for him."
She also shared that the family moved "and it did make my life a lot better." (Although she never did get that pink Ferrari).
But it's the letter that is truly priceless.
"The letter was the best. I've held onto it for all these years. I read it, it's sad, and it always touches my heart."
Jen via TikTok
It's also touched the hearts of more than 2 million TikTok viewers.
"Perfect example that we don’t always know the impact we make on someone’s life. She never forgot you," one commenter wrote.
"Omg I’m sobbing 😭.. that was so so sweet," wrote another. "All the memories she still had of the kids ❤️❤️"
A third said, "As an adult child of divorce who’s Dad had many girlfriends that I loved but never got to say goodbye to, this helped to heal me. Maybe they loved me as much as I loved them."
Sometimes people aren't meant to stay in our lives. They are there for a short time and then they're gone. But just because they are no longer with us, it doesn't mean they are forgotten.
Shirley never forgot the time she spent with Jenny and Todd, even two decades later. Her generous bequest and heartfelt letter were a testament to the deep impact their brief connection had on her life.
It's also a sweet reminder that blood isn't what binds a family together. It's love, no matter how briefly we get to share it.
*Featured image contains photo by cottonbro studio
No, Depression Doesn't Make You Unlovable - Here's Why
Depression is like a dark cloud that can strike suddenly and without warning.
It's more than a feeling of gloom. Past accomplishments no longer have meaning, we lose interest in things we once loved, we feel that those who love us are better off without us.
If you suffer from depression, you’ve likely already sought out help. If you haven’t, it’s the most important thing of all and you should seek to see a therapist as soon as possible. Getting the right treatment for you can quite literally save your life.
However, the fight isn’t over after the depressive episode ends.
Why depression makes you feel unlovable
The problem is...even after an episode is over, you know (or, at least, strongly believe) that it’s only a matter of time before another one will arrive.
And, when that happens, you know there’s a chance you’ll do something you’re not proud of, like snapping at a loved one who did nothing wrong. You know what you’ve put them through and feel ashamed because of it.
When you suffer from depression, a sense of shame that is difficult to shake extends into your life, and it can make you feel unlovable.
Why depression doesn’t make you unlovable
The truth is, millions of people all around the world experience depression just like you. And it happened to them the same way it did with you.
Depression isn’t something you choose, it simply happens. There is nothing connecting a depression diagnosis with a lack of intelligence, strength, or biological capability. Your depression doesn’t make you less than another, it just makes you different, just the same way as anything else does.
Of course, you suffer because of it, but that doesn’t mean that you’re less of a person or can’t be loved by another. We all know we have flaws and, we didn’t choose them. They are there and we have to learn how to deal with them.
Everyone goes through the process of learning to deal with personal flaws, so while your loved ones may have a hard time understanding what you go through during episodes of depression, they can understand some of the feelings you experience – shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness.
3 things you can do if you feel unlovable due to depression
If you experience depression, there are coping tools to help you work through these feelings of being unlovable. However, as stated above, getting professional help before anything is crucial.
1. Develop self-awareness with mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness can help those who suffer from depression for several reasons, the most notable one being the ability to develop the self-awareness needed to see an episode coming.
And, if you can see it coming, you can shift modes and prepare for when the storm hits. This one thing can make a huge difference.
In addition to this, mindfulness has been reported to lessen depressive symptoms as a whole, making it even valuable to those who experience clinical depression of any intensity.
However, most relevant to the topic at hand, mindfulness also allows you to develop the clarity neeeded to view your inner dialogue, which can help you work through feelings of being unlovable and the toxic thoughts they bring.
2. Reflect on past accomplishments...and avoid comparisons
Whether you have a mild to medium depression or a more severe case, there are therapy techniques like CBT, ECT, as well as medication, and a slew of other treatment options that can help you get better.
However, if you continue to create comparisons in your mind with others, especially those who don’t suffer from depression, you’ll just end up discouraging yourself. But, on the flip side, by dedicating yourself to learning to manage your depression, you can get far.
Take some time to reflect on your past accomplishments, and see that you’ve done quite a bit even now with your depression. Sure, maybe not as much as you’d like. However, by reflecting on the progress you have made so far and focusing on making consistent progress, you’ll be further encouraged to continue with treatment. Slowly, you will get to a stage where you have your depression under control and your mind is in a better place where you can connect with others and not only give, but receive, love.
3. Communicate with those you love openly and honestly
Opening up to loved ones about what you’re going through can be one of the most difficult things to do, however, it may be the single most important one of all.
Perhaps the most damaging behavior of depression sufferers, closing yourself off to loved ones can cause you to feel alone not just during a depressive episode, but at all times.
We don’t feel the same way outside of a depressive episode as during one, but shame and guilt often can make us unwilling to open up when it counts the most. If you can muster the courage to start communicating with loved ones about how you feel and what you’re going through, you can create a bridge that gives you strength when you need it the most.
Depression still requires real, clinical help. However, the feeling that you’re unlovable that persists outside of depressive episodes can improve considerably if you focus on those three things.