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25 Chris Rock Quotes That Are Hilarious But Also Surprisingly Deep
Actors

25 Chris Rock Quotes That Are Hilarious But Also Surprisingly Deep

ChrisRock is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. Hilariousand unapologetic, he never misses a chance to tackle sensitive subjects andreveal their humorous aspects.Chris was raised in an impoverished section of Brooklyn and attended a public school. As a result, he was often subjected to discrimination, a social problem that greatly influenced his comedic work.The comedian played small clubs before he was discovered by Eddie Murphy. Ever since then, Rock’s career has been on the rise and came to wider prominence after he earned a spot as a cast member of Saturday Night Live.Havingnothing to hide and a lot of stories to tell about his early life, the comedianwrote and narrated the sitcom EverybodyHates Chris. For being innovative and evidently funny, the American FilmInstitute selected it as one of the best 10 television series of 2007.Rock’sraw humor and uninhibited nature earned him respect as well as controversy. Heis well-known for dropping truth bombs, but since they’re delivered in ahilarious way, it appears that everybody loves Chris after all.Hereare 25 Chris Rock quotes that are blunt but true:Listen to people that are smarter than you.You can only offend me if you mean something to me.With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy because ‘sacrifice‘ infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea; changing a belief is trickier.The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.Funny is only something that others know about you -- you can't be funny by yourself.When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative.You are in a competition… Every room you’re in, you’re competing with the people that played that room and you have to be at least as good as the other people that played that room.You can be anything you’re good at.Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better.Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.We got a justice system for rich, for poor, for black, for white. We live in a country where two people can do the exact same crime in the exact same place at the exact same time and get a different sentence.Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.Everything's funny -- in the right context and done by the right person.There are only three things that women need in life: food, water, and compliments.Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club.Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a f***ing window and slit his throat on the way down saying, ‘I can't even put gas in my plane!’ Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.Comedy is the blues for people who can't sing.People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos was trying to say? ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.’You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.

Relationship Goals: Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost Make Their Differences Work
Dating

Relationship Goals: Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost Make Their Differences Work

Welcome to Relationship Goals, where we’re giving the stage to the power couples we admire. From admirable long-term relationships to inspirational newlyweds, these are the couples we love and hope to take cues from in our own relationships.You never know what life will throw your way and, sometimes, heartbreak can lead to more happiness than you’ve known before. That was the case for Scarlett Johansson. While the Marvel's Avengers star was going through her second divorce in less than a decade, she was faced with something she couldn’t have expected: a brand new chance at love. She certainly wasn’t looking for it, but Saturday Night Live funnyman Colin Jost came into her life in a big way and, after a helpful push from a mutual friend, she let herself fall. This couple didn't let previous failures or doubts stand in their way.Here are the valuable lessons we can learn from Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost:It took some serious time to heat things upIt was March 11, 2017 and Scarlett Johansson was hosting Saturday Night Live for the fifth time. Colin Jost was there not only as host of the "Weekend Update" segment, but as a head writer of the entire show. At the time, she was still finalizing her divorce from French journalist Romain Dauriac and he had recently split from Parks & Recreation star Rashida Jones, but that didn’t stop the couple from hitting it off.As Jost told Entertainment Tonight, that actually wasn’t their first time meeting. "The first time she hosted [in 2006] was the first year I was a writer on the show," he revealed. "So, we've kind of known each other since then.” Despite being acquaintances for over a decade and the great rapport they had, it still took a bit of coercing to help their love bloom. According to Life & Style, it was actually SNL star Kate McKinnon who pushed them together. As an insider claimed, "Scarlett and Kate McKinnon are very close pals. Kate was the one who played Cupid and pushed Scarlett and Colin to go on their first date." After that, their romance snowballed and soon, they were inseparable. Despite trying to keep their budding romance under wraps, they were repeatedly caught by the paparazzi and finally made their red carpet debut in November 2017 at the American Museum of Natural History Gala. Come May 2019, they were engaged.He made her put aside her doubts Johansson may have walked down the aisle twice before (she was married to actor Ryan Reynolds from 2008 to 2010 and Romain Dauriac from 2014 to 2017), but as she revealed in 2017, she’s actually always had doubts about settling down. Speaking with Playboy, the actress voiced her concerns about the very principle of monogamy, saying, “I think the idea of marriage is very romantic; it's a beautiful idea, and the practice of it can be a very beautiful thing [but] I don't think it's natural to be a monogamous person.”She reasoned, “I might be skewered for that, but I think it's work. It's a lot of work." She continued, “The fact that it is such work for so many people — for everyone — the fact of that proves that it is not a natural thing.” Despite that, after falling for Jost, she soon decided to put those doubts aside and work for their relationship, no matter how hard it might be. Their differences complement each otherHaving previously fallen in and out of love with a famous actor, Johansson was likely speaking from experience when she opened up about the difficulties actors face when dating other actors. In an interview with Cosmopolitan, she explained, "The logistics of being with another actor are challenging. There has to be a real understanding of how you share your time, especially when two people's careers are going at the same rate. Or even if one person is more successful than the other, that also proves challenging. There may be a competitive thing."That’s not something she has to worry about with Jost. Yes, he’s a TV star and well-known comedian, but his job doesn’t require him to travel as often (he’s based in New York City most of the time).What’s more, they’re never competing for the same roles and accolades and it also helps that he’s nothing like the other guys she has dated. They’re “in it for the long haul”Despite the slow start and any apprehensions Johansson may have had following two major heartbreaks, the pair found their footing rather quickly and by February 2019, Us Weekly was reporting that they were “fully committed to each other.” This was proven to be fact when they got engaged less than three months later. The romance worked because the timing was actually perfect. “She is a mother and in a mature place where marriage makes more sense than it did in earlier relationships that didn’t last,” Us Weekly reported. “She is in love and likes to be married, but is aware of how hard it is these days.”What’s more, they’re completely smitten. According to the mag, Jost “gets a starry-eyed look in his eyes when he talks about her” while “Scarlett loves Colin too, and they are in it for the long haul.” As Jost himself told Entertainment Tonight, “She's wonderful [...] She's pretty cool. It's hard to have a lot of complaints, she's pretty awesome."More inspiring love stories:Jessica Chastain and Gian Luca Treasure Their Private RomanceHugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness’s Lifelong RomanceNicole Kidman and Keith Urban Survived an “Implosion”Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet Prove the Power of Second LovesMore

20 Trevor Noah Quotes About Resilience and Determination
Quotes

20 Trevor Noah Quotes About Resilience and Determination

Trevor Noah is a South African actor, writer, and an international stand-up comedian. Noah is best known for hosting The Daily Show, an American satirical news program on Comedy Central.Trevor was born to a black Xhosamother and a white Swiss-German father in an apartheid system where the couple’sunion was illegal. However, his parents managed to secretly maintain theirrelationship for a while.The comedian talks a lot about hisexperiences growing up in an environment that practically encouraged racialoppression and segregation. It takes a strong psyche and a really good sense ofhumor to laugh at some of your darkest moments and get millions of people tolaugh along with you. Noah masters this skill! He carefully chooses his wordsso that he approaches sensitive topics in a funny, yet elegant manner.If you’re willing to take a more intimatelook at the world that shaped Trevor Noah, you should check out his book Born a Crime: Stories from a South AfricanChildhood. Better yet, you can opt for the audiobook and listen to thestories narrated by the author himself.Here are 20 Trevor Noah quotes about resilience and determinationDon’t cry about your past. Life is full of pain. Let the pain sharpen you, but don’t hold on to it. Don’t be bitter.Language, even more than color, defines who you are to people.If you laugh with somebody, then you share something.Often, people who can do, don’t because they’re afraid of what people that can’t do will say about them doing.The first thing I learned about having money was that it gives you choices. People don’t want to be rich. They want to be able to choose. The richer you are, the more choices you have. That is the freedom of money.We spend so much time being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. But regret is the thing we should fear most. I don't think I have thick skin, but I heal fast. It's easy to break through, but I heal fast. Being chosen is the greatest gift you can give to another human being.You’ll have a few bruises and they’ll remind you of what happened and that’s okay. But after a while, the bruises fade and they fade for a reason. Because now, it’s time to get up to some s**t again.We live in a world where we don’t see the ramifications of what we do to others because we don’t live with them. Love, unfortunately, sometimes gives you the ability to forgive somebody and blind yourself to the truth. Growing up in a home of abuse, you struggle with the notion that you can love a person you hate, or hate a person you love. It's a strange feeling.As an outsider myself, I always mixed myself with different groups...I've never been afraid to go into a different space and relate to those people, because I don't have a place where I belong and that means I belong everywhere. If this comedy thing doesn't work out, I've always got poverty to fall back on.Progression, in my opinion, is often identifying shortcomings - whether it's views or the things you're doing in your life, your relationships - and trying to find the places where you improve on those.Comedy is a great tool. We are trying to find ways to use humor to enlighten people without preaching to them. But the real world doesn't go away. Racism exists. People are getting hurt. And just because it's not happening to you, doesn't mean it's not happening. You want to live in a world where someone is good or bad. Where you either hate them or love them. But that's not how people are.That awkward moment when you are sitting next to people who gossip too much that you are even scared of leaving them cause you know that you are next.You have to work a bit harder to offend me because I'm from the home of some of the best racism in the world. I'm a snob when it comes to racism.

22 Tina Fey Quotes That Will Help You Face Life Like a Boss
Actors

22 Tina Fey Quotes That Will Help You Face Life Like a Boss

Tina Fey is an American actress, comedian, writer, and producer, best known as the creator and star of the popular sitcom 30 Rock.Because of the way she handles situations and her "be a boss" attitude, Fey is an inspiring example of "girl power." She doesn't get caught up in Hollywood competition and she doesn’t really care about calling people out.She remained quiet for a long time about the story behind the signature scar she carries on her face. When she was five years old, she was playing in an alley behind her house when a stranger approached her and slashed her face with a knife. The experience was clearly traumatizing, but Fey did her best in keeping it from affecting her childhood. Fey discovered her interest in comedy when she was in middle school. With a long list of awards including Emmys and Golden Globes, Fey proven to everyone that she stands among the great American comedians.In 2011, Tina Fey released her autobiography, Bossypants, which became a best-seller within five weeks and was well received by The New York Times.Here are 22 Tina Fey quotes that will help you face life like a boss:There are no mistakes, only opportunities.Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the water slide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.I was a little excited but mostly blorft. ‘Blorft’ is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.'You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.Make statements, with your actions and your voice.When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: ‘Is this person in between me and what I want to do?’ If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Instead of trying to fit an impossible ideal, I took a personal inventory of all my healthy body parts for which I am grateful.Say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards.To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go.Sometimes if you have a difficult decision to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.Confidence is 10 per cent hard work and 90 per cent delusion.You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.That's the main thing I learned in that job - how to be a considerate coworker. Cover the phones for someone so they can pee. Punch someone's time card in for them after lunch so they can stop and buy a birthday card. Help people when their register doesn't add up. Don't be a tattletale.It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30.

20 Lucille Ball Quotes to Make You Feel Daring
Actors

20 Lucille Ball Quotes to Make You Feel Daring

Brave, glamorous and attractive, Lucille Ball was one of America’s most beloved comedians, particularly known for her self-produced television show ‘I Love Lucy’. She was also a model, singer and producer.The TV show was an immense success and included story lines about marriage, suburban living, friendship and women at the workplace. Ball co-starred on the show with her husband, Desi Arnaz.Growing up in a family who barely had money for school pencils, Lucille made it all the way to the top. She was the first woman to run a production studio without a man’s help and the first woman to receive the International Radio and Television Society's Gold Medal. Ball also got four Emmys and is a Television Academy Hall of Fame inductee.So let’s enjoy together 20 Lucile Ball quotes, learn to live our life to the fullest, be bold, and keep in mind that success can be just around the corner, no matter your age. After all, Ball knew real success after she was 40.It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. Your really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven't.One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.The more things you do, the more you can do.Luck? I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work - and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright.I'm not funny. What I am is brave.In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by.Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous red head.People either have comedy or they don't. You can't teach it to them.Politics should be the part-time profession of every citizen who would protect the rights and privileges of free people and who would preserve what is good and fruitful in our national heritage.I'm happy that I have brought laughter because I have been shown by many the value of it in so many lives, in so many ways.I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... anecdotes. But never a joke.I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can.Ability is of little account without opportunity.Use a make-up table with everything close at hand and don't rush; otherwise you'll look like a patchwork quilt.I dyed my hair this crazy red to bid for attention. It has become a trademark, and I've got to keep it this way.I've always prided myself on knowing when to get off, and I hope it works out that way.

Top 24 Ellen DeGeneres Quotes to Inspire Pride in Who You Are
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Top 24 Ellen DeGeneres Quotes to Inspire Pride in Who You Are

Twenty years ago, Ellen DeGeneres made television history when she came out as a lesbian in April 1997, first on a series of talkshows and then through the voice of her namesake character during a special episode of her hit sitcom, Ellen.It's easy to forget the amount of courage such a decision took back in 1997 -- just as hard as it is today, perhaps, to understand the ferocity of the backlash. The popular comedian, actress and now Emmy Award-winning TV host became the first openly gay actress to play a lesbian character on television, and an inspirational figure to countless LGBT teens and adults who were struggling to accept themselves for who they were. But her courage came with a high cost. Her show was canceled soon after, and Ellen was blacklisted by casting agents. She was without work for three years, and plummeted into a depression.Yet Ellen DeGeneres pushed on through the hard times, and ultimately emerged stronger and more successful than ever, while also nudging America forward on its path towards wider acceptance of LGBTs. Her popular talkshow, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, has been showered with no fewer than 59 Daytime Emmy Awards in its 14 year run, as well as 17 People's Choice Awards. And in November 2016, President Barack Obama famously got "choked up" while awarding Ellen the Presidential Medal of Freedom.Here are our Top 24 Ellen DeGeneres Quotes to Inspire Pride in Who You Are.Top 24 Ellen DeGeneres Quotes to Inspire Pride in Who You AreIt’s our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique.True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.If we’re destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there’s got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses.We’re all supposed to be different. I want so badly to encourage everyone to say, “Who am I and how do I want to live my life?Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth, and everything else will come.I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego.Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules.Though you feel like your not where you’re suppose to be, you shouldn’t worry because the next turn you take, it will lead you to where you wanna go.Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you’ll have more beads than you know what to do with.Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.Don’t worry about what people say about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.I’m a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you’re supposed to feel all kinds of things.I think beauty comes from actually knowing who you are. That’s real beauty to me.It is failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?I don’t know what people are scared of. Maybe they think their children will be influenced, but I’ve got to tell you, I was raised by two heterosexuals. Everywhere I looked — heterosexuals. And they did not influence me. It’s time we love people for who they are and let them love who they want.Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail and both are equally important.Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are.

George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life
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George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life

George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. In his 50-year career as one of America's most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but it's the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. Beneath George Carlin's biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of "common" wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live.The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of American's most influential comedians. Whether we agreed with his acerbic commentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions -- and leaving us, as he would say, "gasping for breath."George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. And in 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor.The best (and funniest) George Carlin Quotes on politics, life & death and of course the American governmentBest George Carlin QuotesLaugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything.Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit.There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.Some people see things that are, and ask, why? Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesn’t mean the circus has left town.I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.The planet is fine. The people are f***ed.By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.Religion is like a pair of shoes…Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.I think people should be allowed to do what they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.Funny George Carlin quotesDon’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.Electricity is really just organized lightning.May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that.One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like.If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so f***ing heroic.’Meow’ means ‘woof’ in cat.If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.Atheism is a non-prophet organization.One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?George Carlin quotes about lifeWe have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school.There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.I often warn people: ‘Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘There is no ‘I’ in team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. But there is an ‘I’ in independence, individuality, and integrity.The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves.My advice: just keep movin’ straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed aliveThe future will soon be a thing of the past.George Carlin quotes about politicsConservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money.Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts.Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to have selfish, ignorant leaders.Careful, if you think too much, they’ll take you away.How is it possible to have a civil war?To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn’t need guidance from.Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favour of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own.If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.I'm completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.George Carlin Quotes on DeathFrisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.Property is theft. Nobody "owns" anything. When you die, it all stays here.I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.George Carlin quotes on the American governmentIn America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out.When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat.If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse.Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. The government doesn’t care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. It’s interested in its own power. That’s the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible.Political correctness is America’s newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people’s language with strict codes and rigid rules.I’m not sure that’s the way to fight discrimination. I’m not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech.

Top 15 Inspiring Jim Carrey Quotes
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Top 15 Inspiring Jim Carrey Quotes

Jim Carrey is now known as one of the best comedians to appear on the big screen, but he didn’t always have it easy. When he was young, his father lost his job and as a result, the whole family had to live in a minivan parked on a relative’s lawn. But despite all this, Carrey remained a true believer in the law of attraction. If you ask Jim Carrey, he will insist that his life is proof that the universe does listen to our wishes. While still living in Canada and with almost no money in his bank account, Jim Carrey would visualize actors and directors telling him how they liked his work.At the age of 28, when he was still struggling as a young comedian, he wrote himself a check for 10 million dollars and gave himself 5 years to cash it in. In the memo, he wrote: “For acting services rendered.” He kept it in his wallet it until July 1995, a few weeks before his self-imposed deadline when he found out he would be making 10 million dollars for his role in Dumb and Dumber.But he tells this story by also reminding us that you still have to work hard to get there. In his own words and in a very Jim Carrey way he says: “ You can’t just visualize it and then go eat a sandwich.” Here are 15 of the most inspiring Jim Carrey quotes that will change your view on life and success.“Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.”– Jim Carrey“As far as I can tell, it's just about letting the universe know what you want and then working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass.”― Jim Carrey“It is better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what’s left?”– Jim Carrey“My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.”– Jim Carrey“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”― Jim Carrey“If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.”– Jim Carrey“Either you're the one erasing or you're the one being erased.”– Jim Carrey“Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting.”– Jim Carrey“I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, ’Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.”– Jim Carrey“My soul is not contained within the limits of my body. My body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.”– Jim Carrey“I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which, was that you can fail at what you don't want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love”– Jim Carrey“There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that’s going to eat you.”– Jim Carrey“I'm making a conscious choice to see challenges as beneficial so that I can deal with them in the most productive way”– Jim Carrey“I don’t believe in hope. Hope is a beggar. Hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over it.”– Jim Carrey"So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I'm the proof that you can ask the universe for it"– Jim CarreyFinally, Check out this truly inspiring Speech by Jim Carrey: