3 Self-Sabotaging Zones that Stop Women from Leading
As a brand strategist and business coach, I have had the opportunity to coach some of the most brilliant women I have ever met, and have personally spoken to many others. They all had one thing in common: “feeling stuck.”
I can think back to when I felt stuck. It wasn’t because I wasn’t working hard, or because I wasn’t trying to make my dreams of creating a brand around my passion come true. It was because I was in one of these three self-sabotaging zones that were stifling my potential to break out and lead the life I desired.
Here Are 3 Self-Sabotaging Zones that Stop Women from Leading
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
The middle-class zone
You may already have a relatively good life, but are feeling unfulfilled inside because you have not created your dream business and are not doing the work you love. While you have a desire for more, there is enough to keep you content, so you hold back from taking risks or pushing as hard as you know you can go. You’ve convinced yourself that your life is better than most and try to push the unfulfilled emotions aside, ultimately staying where you are. This is the comfort zone. Whether you achieve your goal or not, you’ll survive, although your inner desire is to thrive.
Maybe you honestly can’t seem to find a path out of your current situation, and that would bring you into alignment with your true desires. You have probably begun to accept that this is as good as it gets, and that your dreams will never come true. Maybe you’ve tried everything, and nothing works. Maybe someone told you that your dreams were not realistic, or perhaps no one in your family has ever accomplished what you aim to achieve. So you comply and conform. Overwhelmed and even broken-hearted at times, you start accepting that your dream life is off limits to you, even though somewhere inside of you, you know this isn’t true.
You’re secretly hoping that someone will come rescue you. Maybe you’ll be discovered; your big break will come. Perhaps you’re hoping someone will invest money in you, because you can’t see how you could ever do it on your own. It’s the “prince on the white horse” syndrome that has most women waiting, playing frail and small, even though inside you are a fierce and determined woman who knows that she can make a real impact on the world. Yet while waiting for the rescue mission or big break to arrive, you’ve avoided taking the action required to make your dreams come true.
What’s holding you back?
The challenge with each of these scenarios is that you are living a life that you know you are not meant for. You feel that calling to build a brand that will transform lives, communities and even the world. But everything you’ve tried so far either hasn’t worked, or did for a little while before knocking you back to where you started. You have your ups and downs. Sometimes you’re okay, but that deep sense of being unfulfilled and overwhelmed keeps coming back.
There is one hidden reason behind all of this: fear — fear of risk, fear of failure, fear of commitment, fear of disappointing others, fear of responsibility. You may even be afraid of your own strength and how great you will become if you have the faith to step out like you know you can. You may fear that some people will leave you, or that it will be too much for you to handle if things take off. Sometimes our dreams can scare us. You may even feel unworthy of your dreams, with a voice inside asking, “Who am I to ask for more?”
Live your passion
But you deserve all that you desire and more. Your skills, passion and expertise are meant to impact the world. You owe yourself a full shot at success. So you must commit to taking action on building that brand that you are meant to share with the world.
I was scared too when I thought about starting my business seven years ago. I would say to myself, I could save that money, take a trip, buy more clothes and shoes. For a while this worked, but my desires were unrelenting.
I got tired. Tired of not living my dream. Tired of standing on the sidelines watching everyone else create what I desired for myself. I knew I would never be fulfilled unless I could live my passion and create a business and brand that I could be proud of.
So one day, I left my tiny cubicle and started my own consulting and now online coaching business. Since then, I have worked with award-winning brands and women internationally. If I had not answered my inner calling, stepped up to my fears and taken chances, I would have missed the chance of impacting lives and businesses internationally. But most of all, I would have missed out on doing the work I love, and would still be longing for the sense of fulfillment that I feel today.
Which zone are you in?
Are you ready to get out of your self-sabotaging zones and into your purpose-driven life? Every decision you make shapes your future. You get to choose the life you live. Pursue your desires with all that you have in you, and each day will become more fulfilling than the last.
Don’t miss your chance to make an impact. Don’t miss your chance to build that world-class brand around your passion. But above all, don’t miss your chance to become the woman you have always dreamt of becoming.