There are many kinds of disabilities in the world, and not all are visible to the naked eye. That doesn’t mean people aren’t struggling daily, though. No one really knows what someone else is going through.
One family drove that point home after they received a hateful note on their car windshield following a dinner out.
How a Family Dinner at Olive Garden Soured
In 2015, Kionna Montazeri and her disabled husband, Dusty Stribel, were enjoying a night out at the Olive Garden with their eight-year-old daughter. It should have been a lovely family memory, but when the trio arrived at their car, the mood quickly soured. That’s because someone had left the family a hateful note.
The note accused them of not being disabled at all and called them “fat.” The couple tried to hide the note from their daughter, but she saw it and couldn’t understand why someone would be so hateful. “It took me a minute to realize what it was and then I was just kind of shocked,” Stribel told a Fox station.
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The couple discussed the incident with their daughter and explained how sometimes people lead with hate without realizing how their words and actions can affect others.
They also reminded her of the importance of leading with kindness and of being aware of her actions. Then, Montazeri decided to take the lesson further and share the story on Facebook.
Why a Mom Decided to Make Their Story Public
In the since-deleted post, Montazeri explained how her husband has muscular dystrophy. She revealed he has struggled with it for years and fought against using a wheelchair until two years ago, when his final fall resulted in injuries to both of his knees and a broken ankle.
“They didn’t understand that we’ve spent the last two years learning to adjust to a life in which he can’t even stand up to get in and out of a car,” she wrote, as per Happiest.net. “They didn’t see that I’ve torn my rotator cuff lifting on him to assist him in his transitions. They have no idea that he already lives in constant pain and that their hurtful words would only add to that. They didn’t know that the reason that he has a belly is because there are no stomach muscles left to hold everything in tight,” she continued.
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“They didn’t know that our 8-year-old already struggles to understand why her daddy can’t run and play with her the way other daddies do. They just didn’t know. And because they didn’t know, they allowed the hate in their hearts to get the better of them.”
Montazeri wrapped her post by thanking the hater, whom she hoped would see the message. She added that the ignorance in the letter inspired herself and her husband to teach their daughter a valuable lesson. She said it also “provided another opportunity for us to overcome and to be thankful for the blessings that continue to come our way.”
How One Mom Taught Her Daughter the Importance of Not Judging Others
As Montazeri and her husband proved yet again, you never know what people are actually going through behind closed doors. That makes it essential to try and reserve judgments until you know the whole story.
Perhaps the person who wrote that note was angry they couldn’t find a parking spot. Maybe something terrible had happened in their own day to set them off at Olive Garden that night. Whatever the case, they didn’t know the family they were targeting. Not really.
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It reminds us to always try and step back from a situation and fully understand what’s happening before engaging. That can apply to someone who rushes in to get a better parking spot than us, people who use disability benefits despite not appearing at first glance to have a disability, or some other situation throughout our days.
Leading with that kind of kindness and understanding won’t just make your corner of the world a better place; it may also inspire someone else to extend the benefit of the doubt the next time you need it as well.
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