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Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Had to Fail at Marriage to Find True Love
Love Stories

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Had to Fail at Marriage to Find True Love

Ted Danson has had an unbelievable career in comedy. Despite the occasional miss, his roles on Cheers and The Good Place alone have solidified his status as a Hollywood legend. Similarly, his personal life has been a smash hit for the past 20-plus years. But that wasn’t always the case. As Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen’s bumpy love story proves, sometimes you have to deal with your fair share of drama and heartbreak before being rewarded with unconditional love. Here’s what we can learn from Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen’s marriage:Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen have enjoyed over two decades of wedded bliss, but when the pair first met on the set of Pontiac Moon in 1993, the outlook was anything but promising. That’s because they had both sworn off love for good. Steenburgen had gotten divorced in 1990 and Danson was having zero luck in the romance department. Not only was he twice divorced, but his second marriage ended in scandal and a historic $30 million settlement. Everyone changes...Ted Danson’s first shot at love came at a young age. In 1970, at the age of 23, he married actress Randy Gosch whom he had met at Carnegie Mellon University. As their respective careers began taking off, however, they found themselves on different paths and separated in 1975. People change with every experience they have and don’t always remain compatible.It's a lesson Danson would soon learn for a second time. Unphased by his divorce, Danson said “I do” to producer Cassandra Coates just two years later. Sadly, a major health scare would soon drive a wedge between them. And tragedy can change your relationshipThe year was 1979 and Coates was giving birth to their first child, Kate, when she suffered a stroke that paralyzed her left side. Recovery was slow and painful, but Danson remained by her side, even sleeping on the hospital room floor for the first three weeks. Unfortunately, the trauma soon took its toll. Speaking candidly about their experience, Coates told People in 1982:For the first month, I did nothing but cry. I gave Ted permission to leave me. I thought I was going to be a wipe-out the rest of my life. Cassandra Coates, People MagazineAs she noted, they were still “adjusting to the fact that we aren’t the same people we were before this happened.” Not only was their intimacy gone — “You don’t think about your sex life when you’re paralyzed,” she told the outlet — but as they tried to find their new "normal," tensions grew. As Danson admitted, “There was a huge rift between us — a massive lack of trust” accompanied by a major “sense of sacrifice” on his part.Sometimes you have to lose everything to find joy Despite all of the challenges they faced, Danson and Coates remained a team for the next decade, but their foundation would crumble in the early ‘90s. Danson was accused of having an affair with co-star Whoopi Goldberg on the set of 1993’s Made in America and the media just couldn’t get enough. That’s when the actor’s life began spiraling out of control. His marriage fell apart, he was hit with a history-making $30 million divorce settlement, Cheers was officially over, Made in America was a flop and, when all was said and done, his new relationship with Goldberg just couldn’t withstand the pressure. The couple called it quits after only 18 months of dating, shortly after an embarrassing comedy routine in which Danson dressed up in blackface to roast his girlfriend. “I was a mess-and-a-half,” Danson told AARP Magazine of that time in his life. I thought, I’m incapable of being in a relationship. But I was working on myself.Ted Danson, AARP MagazineAnd that’s when the unexpected happened. As he noted, it’s “ironic how life works in those moments. Once you throw your arms up and surrender, a lot of times things come your way.”True love comes when you least expect it... When Danson met Steenburgen on the set of Pontiac Moon in 1993, she was in a similar headspace to his. She was a newly single mother of two, having divorced Malcolm McDowell in 1990, and, like her co-star, she had all but given up on love. "I announced to all my friends — not dramatically, but very seriously — that I was done with relationships," she told Closer. That all changed one fateful day. The actors, who were tasked with playing a married couple, spent five hours shooting a canoe scene that would alter their lives forever. As Danson told the magazine, "We went out as friends and by the time we came back, we were in love.”The timing of their encounter, which may have seemed odd at first, was actually perfect, as the pair had similar experiences to bond over. As Danson explained, “We found each other when I was 45 and she was 40 — we had lived a bit." Both of us stared down some demons within ourselves, and it was lucky that we met then.Ted Danson, Closer WeeklyThey soon restored each other’s faith in love and were married in 1995.True love gets stronger with age While Danson experienced his first three relationships crumble over time, with Steenburgen he learned a valuable lesson: True love gets stronger with age. When faced with hardships, personal growth, and changing outlooks on life, true love doesn’t dissolve. Rather, it’s able to withstand anything you throw at it. Which explains why the couple is as crazy in love today as they were when they first met. "I'm madly in love with Mary,” Danson proclaimed in 2017, gushing, “She's a remarkable human being so I'm just incredibly blessed. It feels like heaven on Earth,” he continued with the following love quote. “If I were to die, I can say, I know what it’s like to be loved and to love.”The feeling is mutual. “I’m ridiculously in love with him,” Steenburgen proclaimed in 2018. “I find him endlessly fascinating. He surprises me all the time and most of all he makes me laugh.” Ted and Mary's biggest lesson:It’s easy to have regrets or second-guess your choices in life, especially when the outcome isn’t the one you’d hoped for, but consider this: If you were to change even a single element of your past, your present might look very different. This is a truth Danson is acutely aware of. As he told AARP Magazine, "If I corrected my mistakes — which are cringers — would I take them away if it were to alter anything about where I am now? No. Life is messy. The older I get, the more I realize it’s okay to be imperfect,” he noted. “Because you can still grow and make changes in your life." Rather than pondering the what-ifs, use every experience, both good and bad, as an opportunity to learn. Treat failure as a chance to grow and better yourself and remember that your present is the result of everything that came before it, so there’s no time for regret. Instead, trust that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be or, at least, that you’re headed there.More inspiring love stories:Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart’s 18-Year Romance Had an Unexpected WingmanViola Davis Envisioned Her Perfect Soulmate and Met Him 3 1/2 Weeks LaterRuPaul and Georges Lebar Reveal the Open Secret to Their 25-Year RelationshipDemi Moore and Bruce Willis Saved Their Relationship by Getting Divorced

Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson's Tragic Love Story Carries a Powerful Lesson
Heartbreak

Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson's Tragic Love Story Carries a Powerful Lesson

When Liam Neeson was cast in 2003’s Love, Actually as Daniel, a widower forced to cope with the loss of his wife while raising her young son, he could never have imagined how much life would imitate art. In 2009, Neeson tragically experienced a similar storyline in real life when his wife of 15 years, actress Natasha Richardson, died in a freak skiing accident. Neeson was suddenly left alone, raising their` two boys, Micheál and Daniel, and trying to wrap his head around the unbelievable loss of the love of his life. Here’s what their beautiful romance can teach us about love, loss, and the power of a truly unbreakable bond. Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson's love story teaches us:Their connection was instant but incovenientLiam Neeson and Natasha Richardson first met when they were cast opposite each other in a Broadway rendition of Anna Christie in 1993. The timing wasn’t exactly perfect, but their attraction was instant. Their chemistry on-stage was undeniable and garnered them plenty of critical acclaim — both were nominated for Tony awards — and endless headlines. Speaking about their life-changing connection, Neeson told 60 Minutes, "I'd never had that kind of an explosive chemistry situation with an actor, or actress.” He continued, “We had just this wonderful kind of dance — free dance on stage every night. She and I were like [Fred] Astaire and [Ginger] Rogers."It was anything but easy Due to Richardson’s relationship status at the time, the pair soon became the subject of numerous tabloid reports filled with rumors of an affair. It was anything but easy to navigate the mounting headlines, especially for Richardson. In an interview with Country Living, the late actress admitted, "It was not an easy time when I met Liam. Working with him, what happened between us, and that becoming public knowledge in conjunction with my marriage falling apart, was kind of bad timing.” Even so, she didn’t let the negativity spoil her desire. “I fell very much in love with him,” she revealed. She also didn’t allow Neeson’s reputation as a womanizer to stop her from following her heart. Rather, she told Country Living how she tried to find the bright side, saying, "I'm pleased that women fall in love with him because I know why." Natasha went all inAccording to the NY Daily News, a month or so after Anna Christie finished its theater run, Richardson’s four-year marriage officially ended, but that didn’t exactly pave the way for her and Neeson’s feelings to flourish. They still had some hurdles to overcome, as Neeson left her and flew off to Poland to shoot Schindler's List. Again, the actress didn’t allow the imperfections of their situation to faze her. When Neeson sent her a cheeky note for her 30th birthday that read, "You're catching up with me. Lots of love," she went for it. Putting her cards on the table, she quipped back:This is like a letter from a buddy. What is our relationship? It was that simple comment that pushed Neeson to act, and act fast. No longer playing coy, he reciprocated her feelings in full and they were married in July 1994. As the Taken star told the NY Daily News, "That was when I knew I really loved this person. I thought, 'This is real and genuine and is something that has to be protected.’” Their happily-ever-after didn't last foreverNeeson and Richardson enjoyed 15 years of wedded bliss, welcoming their first son, Micheál, in 1995 and, just 18 months later, their second son, Daniel. Then the unthinkable happened.It was 2009 when Natasha Richardson traveled to Quebec’s Mont Tremblant mountain for a beginner’s skiing lesson. While there, she had a small fall, but a medical team gave her the all-clear. Things quickly took a turn for the worse once she returned to her room and she was rushed to a Montreal hospital, as Neeson (who was on set in Toronto) rushed to be by her side. Liam didn’t open up about his tragic loss until years later.In 2014, he remembered that day on 60 Minutes, saying, “I was told she was brain dead. And seeing this X-ray it was, like, ‘Wow.’” He recalled their final moments together, noting, “She was on life support and stuff. And I went in to her and told her I loved her. Said, ‘Sweetie, you’re not coming back from this. You’ve banged your head. It’s – I don’t know if you can hear me, but that’s – this is what’s gone down. And we’re bringing ya back to New York. All your family and friends will come.’ And that was more or less it.”Except it wasn’t. He still needed to make the hardest decision of all, but he knew he had to do what was best for his wife. Neeson continued, "She and I had made a pact. If any of us got into a vegetative state that we'd pull the plug. So when I saw her and saw all these tubes and stuff, that was my immediate thought.”"Her death was never real”Can you ever truly recover from losing the love of your life? The answer is no, according to Neeson. As he confessed in 2014, "Her death was never real. It still kind of isn't. There's periods now when I hear the door opening, especially the first couple of years... anytime I hear that door opening, I still think I'm going to hear her."So he found the coping mechanism that was best for him — work — and dove all in. According to People, Neeson made a whopping 34 films in just nine years following his love’s untimely death. “I’m not good without work,” he told 60 Minutes. “I just don’t wallow too much. You know? And I just didn’t want to – especially for my boys – seem to be wallowing in sadness or depression.”As he moves forward, however, he’s never forgotten her (or everything she taught him)... and he never will. In 2016, Neeson got candid again, this time on Facebook, writing, “They say the hardest thing in the world is losing someone you love. My wife died unexpectedly. She brought me so much joy. She was my everything. Those 16 years of being her husband taught me how to love unconditionally.” What Liam has to teach usHe concluded with a valuable lesson that everyone should always remember: “We have to stop and be thankful for our spouses. Because, one day, when you look up from your phone, they won't be there anymore. What I truly learned most of all is, live and love every day like it's your last. Because, one day, it will be." That is as true as it gets. The lessons we can learn from Liam and Natasha's love don't stop there either. Liam applied what Natasha taught him to both his work and his family life: loving his sons unconditionally and channeling his pain into positivity. Even when love seems like it's been lost forever, we can keep it alive by living our lives to the fullest.More inspiring celebrity stories:When Luke Bryan's Sister Died, He Adopted Her Orphaned ChildrenMeryl Streep Fought Through the Tragic Loss of Her First Love to Find HappinessAriana Grande is Proof of the Power of Crying in PublicWhen Michelle Dockery Lost Her Fiancé, She Channeled Her Grief Into Downton Abbey

How Did Elton John Save Eminem's Life?
Friends

How Did Elton John Save Eminem's Life?

Eminem and Elton John are both known for being powerhouse musical talents, but it turns out they have something far deeper and darker in common: a history of addiction, and a long journey down the road to recovery.In 2007, Eminem, much like Elton John several decades before, nearly died from a drug overdose. At the height of his stardom, he developed an addiction to prescription medication.At the time, he was taking "up to 30 Vicodin a day" and once was rushed to the ER after taking the equivalent of "four bags of heroin."That’s as serious as it gets-- so how did he survive?How did Elton save Eminem?A new biography by Anthony Bozza entitled Not Afraid: The Evolution of Eminem, reports that after several overdoses, the rapper and actor reached out to pop legend Elton, who came to his rescue."As a fellow musical superstar with nearly 30 years ofsobriety under his belt, Elton John was the perfect mentor to help guideMarshall," writes Bozza. (Enimen’s real name is Marshall Mathers.)"The two started on a program of weekly check-ins andgrew very close."This isn’t the first time this recovery journey has made it to social media and the airwaves. Eminem even talked about it openly in the documentary How To Make Money Selling Drugs, released in 2013.How the unlikeliest friendship blossomedElton and Eminem developed a close friendship, even thoughEminem had a history of controversial lyrics that referenced homophobia."I didn't know [Elton] was gay," Eminem said in a 2004 interview with MTV. "I really didn't care. But being that he was gay and he had my back, I think it made a statement in itself saying that he understood where I was coming from."And Elton was just the person to help Eminem as things got dark. "Some days I would just lay in bed and take pills and cry... I needed pills in my body just to feel normal, so I would be sick. It was a vicious cycle," Eminem has admitted.How did Elton become Eminem's sponsor?Elton himself overcame a cocaine addiction in the 1980s and is now Eminem’s sponsor for his recovery. "I'm Eminem's AA sponsor. Whenever I ring to check in on him, he always greets me the same way: 'Hello, you [expletive]', which I guess is very Eminem,” John told The Telegraph. A friendship that began with a duet at the 2001 Grammy’s has become a lot deeper over the years."When I first wanted to get sober, I called [Elton] and spoke to him about it," said Eminem to The Guardian in 2009. "He's somebody who's in the business and can identify and relate to the lifestyle and how hectic things can be. He understands... the pressure and any other reasons that you want to come up with for doing drugs."I reached out to him and told him, 'Look, I'm going through a problem and I need your advice.'It's a friendship that has survived decades. Elton refers to Eminem as a "dear friend” and gushed about his talent and artistic skills while hosting the Apple Beats 1 show "Rocket Hour". In a fascinating read, a phone interview between the old friends was shared by Interview Magazine. "Your sobriety day is in my diary. I'm so proud of you," Elton says to Eminem in the interview.I’m so happy you exist in the world, and I’m just so proud of you. You’ve worked so hard on yourself, and no one deserves this more than you, Marshall, and I love you from a long way away, okay? Eminem responds, "Thank you, Elton. I love you, too."It's a true friendship built to last, one that we can all learn a great deal from.Eminem and Elton overlooked their obvious differences-- age, nationality, musical style, sexual orientation-- and were able to connect on a very genuine level thanks to their shared experiences. Both men have acknowledged that the moment their lives changed for the better were when they finally admitted:I need help.Having the bravery to admit when they needed help made it possible for both Elton and Eminem to continue shining as icons in the music industry. They fought their addictions and came out the other side stronger and ready to help others going through the same things.Only you can make the decision to seek help and change your life-- are you brave enough? More inspiring musicians:The Misunderstood Brilliance of Pop’s Party Girl, Ke$haInside Missy Elliott’s Secret Illness and Triumphant ComebackWhen Luke Bryan’s Sister Died, He Adopted Her Orphaned ChildrenDemi Lovato Has Moved Beyond Body Positivity– and You Should Too

Demi Lovato Has Moved Beyond Body Positivity-- and You Should Too
Self-Development

Demi Lovato Has Moved Beyond Body Positivity-- and You Should Too

It’s been a little over a year since Demi Lovato’s apparent overdose. She’s been through a lot this whole time, but now she’s back feeling stronger than ever.During her first interview with Teen Vogue since her relapse, Demi opened up about inner strength, body acceptance, and new projects for her fans yet to come.More cautious about her decisions and equipped with a lot more patience this time around, Demi now takes a different approach regarding her self-image and actions.I think it's been a very introspective year for me. I've learned a lot, been through a lot.Demi's fight against body imageThis is not the first time Demi publicly speaks about body image. Over the course of her career she’s been struggling a lot with meeting beauty standards.We’re dealing with an industry of beauty and perfection, where appearance seems to count more than talent itself. The media is presenting us some impossible goals to reach in order to feel good about our bodies.Every time we open a fashion magazine or our social media accounts, we see the same things – more diets, new aesthetic surgeries, trends that are hard to keep up with, and women who would sacrifice anything to get one step closer to perfection.By being part of this industry since childhood, Demi felt she had no choice but to follow all the ridiculous rules to meet the beauty standards set by society. But when she finally got the body and looks she "needed," instead of feeling more confident, she was feeling rather distressed and frustrated.Over the past five years I've learned life is not worth living unless you're living for yourself. If you're trying to be someone you're not, or you're trying to please other people, it's not going to work out in the long run.So she began taking small steps in focusing on her own needs first and accepting her true self.Positivityvs. acceptanceDemi’s self-image has changed a lot over this past year. Where she once struggled with an eating disorder and took dieting and exercise to an unhealthy extreme, today she is capable of accepting her body as it naturally is.We hear the term body positivity all the time. To be honest, I don't always feel positive about my body. Sometimes I do not like what I see. I don't sit there and dwell on it. I also don't lie to myself.Her statement makes the difference between body positivity and body acceptance quite clear. We can all sit in front of a mirror and tell ourselves how beautiful we are, but it won’t have any positive effect if we don’t truly believe what we say.We all have our bad days. Today your skin might glow, but the next day it might look awful – and that’s perfectly normal. You’re only confident about your self-image once you accept that and move on without changing anything.Demi allows herself a cheat day every now and then, doesn’t force herself anymore to hit the gym like a maniac, and says she's feeling better than ever. She still has a trainer and a nutritionist, of course, but she’s doing things at a pace that makes her feel comfortable.She doesn't hide her flawsWhile many other stars are still trying to impress strangers on social media with unrealistic photos, Demi has embraced the fact that she is only human and accept that having flaws is part of that. She recently posted a photo of herself in a bikini, explaining that she had retouched photos of herself in the past to make herself look smoother and thinner.Even though Demi was scared about the mean comments she would get, she still followed her heart and posted the photo. Aside from the fact that there will always be trolls and haters online, the singer encouraged fans to remember that words can still hurt.What people don't realize is I'm an extremely sensitive person. When someone says something mean about me or makes a meme making fun of me, I have a good sense of humor. But when it's a very serious subject it can be hurtful.How self-acceptance empowers usBy being true to herself, Demi says that accepting her body also helped her determine exactly what she wants from life. She realizes that past events might have overshadowed her career as a musician, but she’s working hard to get people to remember that she’s a singer and an actress, first and foremost.Demi is happy to announce a new album that will tell her story exactly as it is, and the charts are waiting for her. Her fans continue to support her and she couldn’t be more grateful about it.What I see in the mirror [is] someone that's overcome a lot. I've been through a lot and I genuinely see a fighter. I don't see a championship winner, but I see a fighter and someone who is going to continue to fight no matter what is thrown their way.The singer teaches us a lot about dealing with our self-image in a healthy way. Allow yourself to take a break and see yourself for who you really are. Learn to love that-- not an ideal that you’ve created inside your mind. Confidence lies in the acceptance of your true self.More inspiring musicians:The Misunderstood Brilliance of Pop’s Party Girl, Ke$haLizzo’s Journey From Rock Bottom to Radical PositivityWhen Luke Bryan’s Sister Died, He Adopted Her Orphaned ChildrenWhen Billie Eilish’s Tourette Syndrome Was Revealed by Fans, She Took Control of Her Own Story

How Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson’s Feud Started— and How They Ended It
Success Stories

How Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson’s Feud Started— and How They Ended It

The Fast and Furious series is a study in underestimation and contradiction: the franchise was a critical failure until its fifth installment, and despite the franchise grossing $5 billion and boasting some of the most absurd vehicular stunts ever committed to film, its stars insist that the series all comes down to family. Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson’s feud, which began on set and made its way into the press, is a reflection of these contradictions. Every time the book seems closed on the much-reported story, either Vin or Dwayne refuels the fire with a social media post, and it feels like we never truly know where they stand with each other.How did this now infamous feud begin? Who, if anyone, is to blame? And why did the two action powerhouses and co-stars manage to quash their conflict— hopefully for good?What was Vin and Dwayne's feud really about?Vin's furious determinationVin Diesel’s side of the story begins in New York, where a young Vin searched for a place he could fit in as a multicultural boy passionate about acting and Dungeons & Dragons. He found refuge in the theatre and honed his acting skills for years. Though he struggled to break into Hollywood due to his “ambiguous” background, Vin's conviction in what he was meant to do never wavered.I know as sure as I’m breathing, I’ll be the biggest movie star in the world. There wasn’t a hair of doubt.Finally, in the early 2000s, Vin broke through with a string of hits: Pitch Black, XxX, and of course, The Fast and the Furious. These roles cemented Vin as an action star with the latter film, a crime/street racing action movie, introducing him not only to his best friend, Paul Walker, but also providing him the opportunity to build himself a multi-cultural Hollywood family while developing the Fast and Furious sequels into a record-busting box office powerhouse.The Rock's meteoric riseMeanwhile, in Hawaii, a young Samoan-Canadian football star was torn between pursuing a pro sports career and following in his family’s footsteps as professional wrestlers. Dwayne Johnson became known as The Rock after making his WWE debut. His theatrical personality, natural charm, and powerful physique made him one of the most popular stars in the WWE and he made his mark as one of the greatest performers in the franchise. But that wasn’t his only dream.They said what do you want to accomplish? I said I want to accomplish the world. Because of my ambition.In the early 2000s, Dwayne stepped away from the ring to pursue his dream of becoming an actor. He starred in several action movies, gradually working his way to the top of Hollywood over the next decade. Then the struggling Fast and Furious franchise came knocking on his door.Their furious feudDwayne Johnson’s triumphant debut as Luke Hobbs in Fast Five played a part in the movie’s smashing success at the box office and positive critical reception. He was widely credited with reviving the series that Vin had spent years building.How to re-ignite an ageing franchise? Drop [Dwayne Johnson] on it.EmpireIt seemed like the ideal partnership between action powerhouses, but behind the scenes, there was trouble in paradise.Reports of an on-set feud between Dwayne and Vin went public after Dwayne shared a photo on Instagram with this caption about his unnamed male co-stars:Some conduct themselves as stand up men and true professionals, while others don’t.Speculation was rampant that Dwayne was criticizing Vin and the roar only grew louder when he posted another photo that thanked members of the "Fast Fam"— except Vin.For his part, Vin dismissed the feud as two alphas butting heads, but reports flew that Dwayne was late to set, Vin was letting his ego control his producing, and that the two refused to film scenes together on The Fate of the Furious.It’s not always easy being an alpha. And it’s two alphas. Being an alpha is sometimes a pain.Vin Diesel, USA TodayWith Dwayne’s character getting his own spinoff movie, Hobbs & Shaw, rather than appearing in the next Fast and Furious movie, it seemed a foregone conclusion that Vin and Dwayne’s rift wouldn’t be mended any time soon, but once again, the action stars did the unexpected.Rising above the furyDwayne had a big summer: the premiere of Hobbs & Shaw was quickly followed by his wedding to longtime love Lauren Hashian.Despite the stories about Vin resenting the new spinoff, Vin took time out from filming Fast & Furious 9 to congratulate Dwayne on both his successful movie and his new marriage. “Real shoutout to Dwayne and Jason— by the way, congratulations on your wedding, Dwayne. Lauren’s a special girl and you have a beautiful family.The man Vin’s kids call “Uncle Dwayne” responded by thanking Vin for reaching out and inviting him into the Fast Family:I’m grateful for that invite. As you know, my goal was always, all these years, to come into the Fast & Furious world and help elevate the franchise in any way that I possibly could. If I could do that, then I’ve done my job, and now here we are 10 years later… We did it the right way, we did it the smart way, and again, brother, I appreciate your support.Vin and Dwayne were able to put aside their pride in order to keep building something huge and record-breaking together— and always, they bring it back to the family they found along the way:Family is gonna have differences of opinion and fundamental core beliefs. To me, conflict can be a good thing, when it’s followed by great resolution. I was raised on healthy conflict and welcome it. And like any family, we get better from it.What's your fight?Vin and Dwayne’s stories mirror each other’s in many ways, but their similarities also caused them to butt heads. The resolution of their “feud” is a reminder that we should face conflict head on and grow from it however we can. Backing down from your conviction is a very different thing from backing down from your pride.Only by setting aside their egos and putting their shared passion first were Vin and Dwayne able to move forward and expand upon their dreams. Letting your pride rule over your drive will only hold you back. Without ego and unresolved resentment weighing you down, you’ll be able to rise higher — and faster— than you ever have before.More inspiring celebrities:The Mistakes That Taught Terry Crews How to Be a ManWhy Eddie Murphy’s Movie is Dedicated to His Brother CharlieHeath Ledger’s Greatest Gift to the World Wasn’t JokerLinda Hamilton’s Terminator Journey Took Her Full Circle

Why Eddie Murphy's Movie is Dedicated to His Brother Charlie
Family

Why Eddie Murphy's Movie is Dedicated to His Brother Charlie

We all know Eddie Murphy— when we see the name, many iconic characters spring to mind, along with hilarious one-liners and physical comedy. You may know him for stint on Saturday Night Live, his string of hit comedy films in the '80s and '90s, his Golden Globe-winning turn in Dreamgirls, or even his groundbreaking standup career.But what about Charlie Murphy? Eddie Murphy’s older brother Charlie was a standup comedian, actor, and screenwriter in his own right, best known for his performances in Dave Chappelle’s iconic sketch TV series Chappelle’s Show. Experts within the comedy industry laud Charlie as one of the most under appreciated talents in the scene, with director Craig Brewer saying, “"He may not have been as famous as Eddie, but he was a really talented and funny cat.” If you don’t know Charlie Murphy’s name, then you likely have no idea that he died in 2017 after a battle with leukaemia. Or that Eddie Murphy’s comeback film My Name is Dolemite is dedicated to his memory.What else don’t you know about Eddie and Charlie Murphy?Their tragic childhoodThe Murphy brothers’ childhood ended sooner than most, with their parents’ divorce when Eddie was just three years old, followed by his father’s murder five years later.Neither Charlie nor Eddie had it easy growing up, but older brother Charlie stepped up to serve as his little brother’s protector whenever he could. Eddie was understandably traumatized by the loss of his father, but Charlie did his best to be Eddie’s rock.When their mother became so ill that she had to be hospitalized for months, Charlie and Eddie were put into foster care. Thankfully, the brothers were not separated, but they spent a year in the system before being returned to their mother’s care. Despite their tough childhood, Eddie credits the hard times with developing his razor sharp wit and wicked sense of humor. While Eddie turned to the standup comedy scene to channel his pain, Charlie was drawn into gang violence. Eddie was without his brother for the first time when Charlie was sentenced to 10 months in prison. Charlie credits his mother with helping him clean up his act, as she encouraged him to join the military.As Eddie's star rose, Charlie was stuck in the shadowsAs Eddie rose to the top of the comedy scene, Charlie reclaimed his role as his brother’s protector by serving as Eddie’s head of security. While he loved being able to support his brother, Charlie’s own creativity was being stifled in the role. He recalled, “I was there for the person I loved and the people around him didn’t like it. Being there to support someone else is cool if you’re a troop but I’m a general. I like being out in front. I left shortly after that happened and wrote my first film script.”Eddie was also moving away from standup and into the world of Hollywood, but Charlie found his place as a sketch performer with Dave Chappelle. He turned his role as an observer behind the scenes into the Chappelle's Show's now iconic "Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories" segment. The stories he wrote and shared about Prince and Rick James are still referenced daily— often by people who have no idea who they originated from!Charlie stepped into a spotlight of his own makingWith the abrupt end of Chappelle's Show, Charlie took advantage of the challenge of making ends meet-- turning it into an opportunity to test himself on the biggest dream he'd always been afraid to chase: he set out to be a standup comedian.Though Eddie hadn't performed standup in two decades by that point, his shadow still loomed large over Charlie. "When I first started doing comedy, I was 42 years old and I was the brother of one of the most celebrated comics in history who made his name in the game 20 years earlier. So, that took a lot of bravery," he said. Once he set his mind to it, Charlie slowly but surely made his way up through the world of standup, earning the respect of iconic comedians such as Chris Rock and DL Hughley. Of course, his greatest admirer was his little brother."Eddie sometimes comes to my shows. He’s proud of me. He talks about doing stand-up himself again but he’s hesitant after all this time. He doesn’t want to be compared to me," Charlie told Metro.Charlie's legacy for Eddie-- and for usIn 2017, Eddie's protector finally faced the one battle he couldn't win: cancer. He left behind a long career of writing, standup, and acting, along with two daughters.Eddie mourned his brother in private: "Charlie filled our family with love and laughter and there won’t be a day that goes by that his presence will not be missed." He also found a way to honor is brother creatively. He produced and starred in My Name is Dolemite-- a movie about the comedian Charlie had introduced him to-- and dedicated the movie to Charlie's memory. Even more significantly, Eddie resolved not just to return to live sketch comedy by guest hosting Saturday Night Live, but also decided to make a return to standup up, three decades after his last iconic run-- and three years after Charlie's death.Both brothers stories are powerful lessons about tackling the dream you're most afraid of pursuing, not to mention never letting egos get in the way of family or your passion. Charlie protected his brother until he realized it was time to stop playing defense. Then he was able to live his dream.I’ve never felt like I was living in anyone’s shadow. My life was what it was. I was always proud of my brother. He helped me tremendously, but we’re family so we were never in his shadow.Charlie Murphy in Essence (2009)More comedians:Kevin Hart Opens up About the Car Crash That Changed His LifeThe Mistakes That Taught Terry Crews How to Be a ManJames Corden Reminds Us That Shame Isn’t the Answer

Heath Ledger's Greatest Gift to the World Wasn't Joker
Celebrities

Heath Ledger's Greatest Gift to the World Wasn't Joker

Heath Ledger — the Australian actor who starred in 10 Things I Hate About You, A Knight’s Tale, Brokeback Mountain, I’m Not There, and finally The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus — is most widely remembered for two things: his untimely death at the young age of 28 and his Oscar-winning role as the Joker in The Dark Knight. With Joaquin Phoenix’s remarkable performance in Joker, much has been made of comparing the two actors, trying to determine which is the greatest embodiment of the character. Both actors are lauded for elevating the comic book movie genre to a level of high art.But as undeniably remarkable as Heath’s performance as the Joker was, the obsession with that character overshadows the much deeper, more lasting impact he left on the world. Beneath the face paint and the unsettling laughter lay a complex performer uninterested in celebrity, a new father, and creative jack-of-all-trades. If Joker isn’t Heath Ledger’s real legacy, what is?His greatest passion was his familyHeath’s most tangible legacy is, of course, his daughter Matilda. Born in 2005, she was three years old when Heath died.By all accounts, fatherhood came naturally to Heath, who described Matilda as “beautifully observant and wise. Michelle and I love her so much.” He told In Touch, “Becoming a father exceeds all my expectations. It’s the most remarkable experience I’ve ever had-- it’s marvelous." Four weeks after her birth, Heath was relishing the active role he was playing assisting new mom Michelle in carrying for their daughter. "It's exhausting, but it's a pleasure waking up to your daughter.” He told The Sun Times. Being a father was his number one priority: "My duties in life are that I wake up, cook breakfast, clean the dishes, prepare lunch, clean those dishes, go to the market, get fresh produce, cook dinner, clean those dishes and then sleep if I can.”Raised by her mother Michelle, Matilda is now a teenager, but has been carefully kept away from the spotlight as both of her famously private parents would have intended.But Michelle has a constant reminder of Heath in their daughter, who keeps their love very much alive: “I always say to Matilda, 'Your dad loved me before anybody thought I was talented, or pretty, or had nice clothes.'"Becoming a father didn’t just enrich Heath’s personal life— it pushed him further creatively as well. "So fatherhood has changed me as an artist because I feel things on a deeper level,” he said in The Sun Times. "I think my performances will grow simultaneously."He wasn’t wrong. The Academy Award he won posthumously for his most widely beloved role, Joker in The Dark Knight, belongs to Matilda.Whatever Matilda chooses to do with her life, she has the inspiration of two talented parents who fearlessly pursued their creative passions.Having a child changes every aspect of your life — for the better, of course. The sacrifices are large, but what you get in return is even bigger than the sacrifices you make. I feel, in a sense, ready to die because you are living on in your child. Not literally, not ready to die — but you know, that sort of feeling in a profound way.Heath Ledger to Susan Chenery (2007)He didn't limit himself to actingClosely linked with Heath’s passion for acting was his love of music and his desire to be a director in his own right. He even reached out to his friend, musician Ben Harper, to compose a lullaby for Matilda. The song “Happy Ever After in Your Eyes” is a moving tribute to the love he felt for his daughter. Heath directed a music video for Harper in turn, as well as videos for several other artists. He’d spoken of his desire to direct a documentary about musician Nick Drake and to adapt 1984 by George Orwell, and planned to open a record label with Harper as well.His impact on other musicians can be keenly felt in the songs dedicated to him in the wake of his death, including “Vlad the Impaler” by Kasabian and “Perth” by Bon Iver.But his most striking creative legacy outside of his acting must be the Australians in Film Heath Ledger Scholarship, funded after his death and presented by his family to 10 young actors, including Cody Fern (American Horror Story, The Assassination of Gianni Versace) and Bella Heathcote (The Neon Demon, Strange Angel). I'm not supernatural. I've done nothing extremely special to deserve the position. It happens every couple of years, and it's happened to hundreds of people before me.Heath Ledger to Newsweek (2000)He led Jake Gyllenhaal by exampleOf course, we can’t talk about Heath’s impact on young actors without singling out one performer in particular: his Brokeback Mountain co-star Jake Gyllenhaal. First hitting it off after their mutual failures at Moulin Rouge auditions, Jake says that his desire to work with his friend was a big factor in signing on to Brokeback Mountain: “To me, Heath was always somebody I admired in a way. He was way beyond his years as a human… I wasn’t really quite sure where we came from.”Their performances and chemistry in Brokeback Mountain earned both actors their first Oscar nominations, and Jake won his first major acting award for his role as Jack Twist.Jake had been acting since childhood but credits his experience working with Heath on Brokeback Mountain as the turning point in his art and career. “I look at the choices Heath was making at that time and he was years, years beyond me,” Jake recalled. “Incredible acting choices about craft that I didn’t understand yet… And now they are all things that are part of my process and how I process character.”When Heath died in 2008, Jake was understandably devastated. He didn’t make a movie until the following year.As he mourned Heath, Jake told People he came to a realization, “This is fleeting. None of the sort of attention or sort of synthesized success of a film matters really matters at all. What matters is the relationships you make when you make a film and the people you learn from when you’re preparing for a film. That changed a lot for me.”The care and creative freedom with which Jake has approached his roles him films like Zodiac, Prisoners, Nightcrawler, and Nocturnal Animals speaks to the lasting impact Heath had on his friend. As he told NPR, "I know that not only can this career end in a very short period of time… but also that life is precious. And I think losing Heath — and being a part of a family that was something like that movie we all made together — makes you see that, makes you appreciate that and hopefully moves you away from the things that really don't matter to the things that do."I try not to think about the outcome. If you look that far ahead, it sort of taints your choices as an actor.Heath Ledger to The Daily Telegraph (2007)What will your legacy be?Like so many lives, Heath’s cannot be boiled down to a single moment of greatness. Instead, the positive impact he had on the world was continually reinforced by his integrity, creative passion, and determination to challenge himself.Whether in a big-budget comic book movie or a home movie no one saw til years after his death, Heath found ways to push himself further. He refused to repeat himself creatively and embraced new experiences full-heartedly It’s true; not everyone can be the Joker-- but everyone can impact the world like Heath Ledger did by fearlessly pushing themselves forward and loving wholeheartedly.

Winona Ryder Introduced Christian Bale to the Love of His Life
Love Stories

Winona Ryder Introduced Christian Bale to the Love of His Life

Not only is Christian Bale a talented, Oscar-winning actor, but he’s also extremely skilled at keeping his personal life top-secret and far away from prying eyes. Bale and his wife, Sandra "Sibi" Blažić, tied the knot back in 2000 and have been inseparable ever since, which is truly rare in Hollywood. In fact, by A-list standards, two decades is almost a lifetime. So how has the couple managed to "beat the odds" and build such a long-lasting, unfaltering relationship? The secrecy certainly plays an important role — “[My wife] likes to be very private and, of course, I want to maintain that,” Bale told Us Weekly in 2017 — but there’s much more to their successful love story than that. Let’s take a closer look at… What we can learn Christian Bale and Sibi BlažićHow Sibi changed his stance on marriage Before Christian Bale met Sibi Blažić, he was totally against marriage. So much so that he actually told Easy Living (via The Sydney Morning Herald) in 2012 that he had never imagined walking down the aisle. He was completely turned off by the notion… until he met the right person, that is. "I never planned to marry,” he told the magazine, explaining, Everyone was divorced in my family, so I didn't have very healthy ideas about marriage. Then I met Sibi and suddenly it seemed [like] a fantastic idea.A model and makeup artist, Blažić was working as an assistant for Bale’s friend, Winona Ryder, when they first met. They quickly became smitten and, in 2000, Bale did what he thought he never would: he eloped to Las Vegas to say “I do!"They are proof that meeting the right person can change your outlook on life like you never imagined and shake you to your very core. She also changed his mind about kidsIn addition to turning Bale onto the idea of marriage, Blažić also changed her husband’s stance on starting a family. Her influence continued as the pair considered having kids and, in 2005, they had their first child, Emmeline. Baby Joseph arrived a decade later, in 2015. Speaking with Esquire in 2010, the actor revealed just how passionate he had become about living life as a family man, saying, “I’ve got incredible pride for my family."I’ve absolutely fallen into that cliché of a dad who could just happily talk about my daughter endlessly. Meanwhile, in a 2012 interview, he called fatherhood “the best thing ever” and admitted, “I don't want to leave my daughter's side for one second.”Christian finds strength in SibiWhen Bale won the 2011 Critics’ Choice award for Best Supporting Actor for his role in The Fighter, he took the opportunity to let the world know just how integral Blažić has been to his success. "I truly believe you can't celebrate something like this without having your partner with you,” he began before revealing the strength she’s given him. I know that it truly would be impossible to do it without her, and she's such a good strong woman. I owe everything to her.In 2017, he continued that line of thought, telling Us Weekly, “She’s probably the most strong woman I’ve ever come across in my life. And I — You’re making me all tearful!” he paused, showing first-hand how his wife brings out a different side of him. “I’m too much of a softie!” he continued. “I don’t think I am, but then you got me with that!” Sibi “terrifies” him Not only does Bale find strength in his wife, but she also keeps up with him… and keeps him on his toes. During a Wall Street Journal profile, Bale dropped a major bombshell when he revealed that Blažić had actually worked on The Dark Knight Rises with him as a stunt double. My wife was a stunt driver — she was chasing me through the city in Batman He noted, "She was driving one of the cop cars. She can do 180s and stunts and all that." He went on to say, “She terrifies me. My wife terrifies me.” In the best way possible, of course.Jump to his Golden Globe win for Best Actor for Vice in 2019 and, once again, Bale couldn’t help but thank his partner. "Thank you to my beautiful wife [...] I wouldn’t be working without her," he confessed before revealing just how much his family has changed him. He added, "And thank you for our beautiful children, Banana and Burrito. They’ve given me a love and a soul I never thought possible."Don't be afraid of how love will change youJanuary 2020 marks the couple’s landmark two-decade wedding anniversary and if there’s one thing that proves it’s that no matter what your preconceived notions may be about relationships, marriage or children, they can all change on a dime when you meet the right person.Allowing someone into your life who challenges your beliefs, brings out the best in you, and even “terrifies you” can be the best decision you ever make. As Bale has learned first-hand, stepping outside of your comfort zone in life, love and work is a surefire recipe for happiness and success. More inspiring love stories:Carey Mulligan Married Her Childhood Pen Pal, Marcus MumfordAdam Brody and Leighton Meester Refuse to Let Drama Poison Their LoveMegan Fox and Brian Austin Green’s Divorce Wasn’t the End of Their LoveJennifer Lawrence’s Husband Found Her When She Wasn’t Looking for Love

What We Can Learn From Bill Gates' Regrets About Paul Allen
Entrepreneurs

What We Can Learn From Bill Gates' Regrets About Paul Allen

When you think of Microsoft, Bill Gates comes to mind immediately. However, numerous sources reveal the company's co-founder, the late Paul Allen, was also instrumental to the brand's success. The Netflix docuseries Inside Bill's Brain: Decoding Bill Gates recently explored many facets of the world's most famous billionaire, including his personal life and the things he regrets.Let's explore why Gates may view Allen as his biggest regretGates and Allen met in the late1960s at Seattle's Lakeside School when Gates was in eighth grade. Allen wastwo classes ahead.The schoolmates landed in hot water with the school when they exploited a bug in a teletype terminal to give themselves usage privileges. Since computer terminals were rare at the time, it cost people up to $60 to use them. Allen and Gates were fascinated by the terminal, but the expenses proved prohibitive. They worked out an arrangement touse the system for free in exchange for alerting the school to any flaws. Gateslater mentioned the terminal asthe object that broughtthe two together. They shared the same dreamComputers were not fads for Allenor Gates. In the 1970s, Allen was working as a programmer in Boston, whileGates was a student at Harvard University. After beginning as a pre-law majorin 1973, Gates quickly changed his focus and sped through some of the mostadvanced computer and mathematics courses Harvard offered. In 1975, Gates made a fateful call from his dorm room to a company that had built an early personal computer called the Altair 8800. Gates offered to develop software for the system. The firm accepted and paid him $3,000 plus royalties for the work. Due to this contract, Gates left school to focus on a venture he called Micro-Soft. The enterprise ended up being a team effort between Allen and Gates-- they co-founded Microsoft on April 4, 1975. The company went public in 1987, and Bill Gates became a 31-year-old billionaire only a year later. How did Paul Allen fit into Microsoft? For starters, he arranged to buy an early operating system from a Seattle programmer. Once Gates and Allen tweaked the system's code, it helped IBM's first personal computer function in 1981. Moreover, Allen persuaded Gates todrop out of college to pursue software development. Plus, he came up with theMicrosoft name and focused on its goal of providing software for smallcomputers, rather than the earliest models that filled entire rooms. Friendship under strainMicrosoft launched in Albuquerque, New Mexico. However, in 1979 — a year after the company's sales topped $1 million — it relocated to Bellevue, Washington, a Seattle suburb. There, Gates and Allen's grew rocky relationship. In 1983, Allen left the company and clarified some of the reasons.Allen said he disagreed with Gates on numerous things, including product and hiring-related decisions. In his memoir, Idea Man, Allen wrote:Over the years, the result of these and other incidents has been the gradual destruction of both our friendship and our ability to work together.Tech betrayals are nothing newAllen does not stand alone among tech company founders as someone who disagreed with his colleagues. Take Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, as an example. People have tapped Zuckerberg as the next Bill Gates, mainly due to his pioneering efforts in digital technology. Another thing that links Gates to Zuckerberg is the unrest between co-founders. In 2005, Zuckerberg diluted co-founder Eduardo Saverin's stake in the company and then ousted him. Saverin, who met Zuckerberg at Harvard Unversity, invested the initial $15,000 to build and host Facebook. Six months after the site's launch, the company relocated to Palo Alto, California. The story, from a clandestine school meeting to a move and falling out, is a similar one. Is it possible Saverin is Zuckerberg's' Paul Allen? Saverin played an instrumental role in Facebook's origins — much like Allen with Microsoft. Farhad Manjoo, a techindustry expert from Silicon Valley, believes the corporation is too big tofail.In a 2018 New York Times piece, Manjoo questioned whether Zuckerberg should still lead Facebook. He pointed out how the leader's shares have 10 times the voting power of normal ones, making him far more influential than others at the company. Allen claims disagreements withGates led him to leave the company. However, company shares also played a rolein his decision to cut ties. Allen's health suffered while their friendship fell apartIn April 2011, Paul Allen published a book called Idea Man that shed light on some of the friction between himself and Gates. An article from The Wall Street Journal said the printed work positioned Gates as a confrontational taskmaster and someone unsuitable for Allen's more laid-back personality. In the book, Allen described himself as the person who sparked many of Microsoft's ideas.Idea Man also revealswhat Gates did to maximize his monetary benefits. Gates first insisted on a60-40 split with Allen in Gates' favor. However, he later renegotiated it to a64-36 split.The last straw for Allen was when he overheard Gates talking to former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. The discussion centered around how to dilute Allen's equity due to complaints of his alleged lack of productivity. Allen had recently been diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma and viewed the talk as an exploitation of his weakest moment.Their final days togetherGates and Allen reportedly didn't speak for a year after Idea Man came out. However, they eventually patched the rift, and Gates was looking forward to spending more time with Allen. In one interview, Gates anticipated yacht trips, saying he'd already traveled that way with Allen, but was planning more once the kids left for college.After Allen's death in 2018 due to cancer complications, Gates emphasized the extent of his bond with Allen, saying: Paul was a true partner and dear friend. Personal computing would not have existed without him.In Inside Bill's Brain: Decoding Bill Gates, the billionaire didn't say much about the relationship between himself and Allen, but he admitted he he had been tough on Paul at times. Bill's wife, Melinda, says two talked more as they repaired their friendship. We had times with Paul, we would sit for hours. They were like two little boys laughing together over these old stories.Can business and friendship co-exist?According to the Netflixdocumentary, Gates reconnected with Paul when he publicized the return of hiscancer. He claims the friendship was more important than anything that camebetween them. Even though their interpersonal drama eased, Gates may stillsee their longstanding tension as a regret.Allen and Gates both possessedbrilliant minds. If they had resolved their differences sooner, they could havecontinued to work together. They may have brought Microsoft to even moreprominence. Disagreements are frequent in the business world, especially among people with big ideas. However, it's a mistake to let them get in the way of progress.Allen and Gates' collaboration made Microsoft possible and though their friendship suffered, it was clear they valued it greatly, as shown by their rekindling of it in their final days.In our desire to reach our dreams, we shouldn't lose sight of the people we love and those who help us along the way. Finding a work to work with those who support us rather than butting heads is the surest path to accomplishing our goals.

What Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Got Right About Conscious Uncoupling
Heartbreak

What Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Got Right About Conscious Uncoupling

I believe Kenny Rogers said it best in his song "The Gambler": "You've got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.” While it’s (relatively) easy to accept good things like money, opportunity, and romantic love into your life, being able to recognize when something is no longer serving you— and in fact may be impeding you— is another matter altogether. Why did Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin break up?Let’s take Gwyneth Paltrow and her ex husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin as a perfect celeb example of knowing when (and how) to best fold ‘em, shall we? In 2014, after almost a decade of marriage and 2 children to think of, they announced their “conscious uncoupling” on Paltrow’s lifestyle website, Goop. The term, originally coined by lifestyle guru Katherine Woodward Thomas rose to fame largely in response to their statement.“We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner,” the statement read. Martin and Paltrow finalized their divorce in 2016. What is unconscious uncoupling, really?So what's the difference between conscious uncoupling and divorce? Is it purely semantic? I mean, what's in the words we use anyway? Earlier this year, Paltrow broke down her now infamous take on divorce to Dax Shepard on his "Armchair Expert" podcast. Of the ritual anger, bitterness, and separation that typically characterizes even the best of divorces before it's remotely possible to consider ‘being friends,’ she said, "I wonder if there's a way to circumvent that and just go directly to the point where we're friends. We're family, that's it. We can pretend we're not, and hate each other ... or, let's try to reinvent this for ourselves.""At the time I was in a lot of pain,” she says of the initial uncoupling. "It felt like such a failure to me. It was so hard and I was so worried about my kids… We just want to be nice to each other and stay a family."Terminology aside, a family they have stayed. "We’ll have a weekend all together; holidays, we’re together. We’re still very much a family, even though we don’t have a romantic relationship. He’s like my brother," she says of Martin."Conscious uncoupling" vs divorceAs is to be expected, Paltrow faced a considerable backlash for using the term “conscious uncoupling” rather than “divorce.”The phrase was ridiculed for being new agey and a self-helpy—not to mention it had already been a topic of exploration on Goop before she herself used it. In response to the eye rolls, Woodward Thomas points out that there are several misconceptions about uncoupling: that it is only for celebrities and the elite, for example, or that you have to have your former spouse on board to go there.How conscious uncoupling really works“It isn’t about becoming friends with your former partner if you don’t want to be,” Woodward Thomas says. “If you have been badly treated you might want to never have anything to do with that person again, but you don’t want to internalize your hatred… It is particularly for anyone having a hard time and in danger of moving into a negative cycle that can end up hurting them in the long run.”The conscious uncoupling process is for anyone, including someone still not over an old heartbreak, and even those whose relationships are characterized by betrayal or abuse. Thomas calls it “a thing we aspire to,” adding that she hasn't met one person who has done it perfectly, herself included. The process is made up of several steps focused on identifying, naming and accepting negative emotions, as well as taking responsibility for one’s part in the separation, no matter how small. Then there's also a bit about forgiving the other person and being forgiven (presumably flexible depending on one's situation), clearing away old agreements the relationship was formed upon to make way for new ones, and helping one's community/family understand the new form the relationship is taking.The goal? Gold, of course!If you're staunchly in the eye roller’s camp, that’s your right, but ultimately the goal of consciously uncoupling is to, well, consciously learn from your experiences and move forward to healthier and happier relationships.Last year, Paltrow married TV writer Brad Falchuk after dating him for over three years. As Gwyneth wrote on Goop: "I have decided to give it a go again, not only because I believe I have found the man I was meant to be with, but because I have accepted the soul-stretching, pattern-breaking opportunities that (terrifyingly) are made possible by intimacy.”And in case you're wondering what Falchuk thinks of his wife still spending time with her old family unit (that means Martin), he’s totally down. For their honeymoon, they chose a family affair, inviting along Martin, his two kids with Paltrow, Apple, 14, and Moses, 12, and Falchuck's two children from a previous marriage.So there you have it. Perhaps there is something to being intentional about one’s evolution after all. Words are powerful agents, so why not use them to add positive definition to life and love? Here’s to conscious coupling and uncoupling alike! May we own our feelings through it all.More empowering breakup stories:Miley Cyrus’ Split From Liam Hemsworth is a Lesson About Outgrowing LoveDemi Moore and Bruce Willis Saved Their Relationship by Getting DivorcedWhat We Can Learn From Nicole Kidman’s Infamous Breakup PhotoKaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki Bonded After Their Breakup